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BigFoodforSmallMouths
6,871 M Moving Along 5
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts183 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceAugust 21, 2015
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Should I leave without an explanation?
Relationship Stress / by BigFoodforSmallMouths
Last post
 May 30th, 2021
...See more There's this guy that I've been talking to every day for more than a year now. We're very close to each other and we both expressed our feelings for each other. He said he likes me, too, but doesn't want to commit yet because he wants to do a lot of things first. He also said that he considers me as one of his best friends and that I am already a part of his life. Our conversations are random and we even talked about how much we "want" each other. He would start and end his day by talking to me no matter how busy he is. He says I love you every day even though we are not a couple. We have built a strong connection and it is something that we both treasure. One day, he told me he would be gone for a week or so and would spend time somewhere away from home. This was not the first time, though. I got used to it. He would be gone for days and we wouldn't talk until he's back. I respect him and his space so much that I don't disturb him during this time. After 9 days, he messaged me again and we started being silly. My last message was kinda cold but I knew he knew that it was nothing. He didn't reply. I saw him went online every now and then but he didn't reply to my last message. He didn't even say good night. So, I messaged him and apologized for being silly. I said I thought he knew it was nothing since it wasn't the first time we were mean to each other. I pointed out that he even forgot to say good night which was very unusual since he would always leave a message no matter how sleepy he was. I said it seemed like he has changed. The next day, he replied and said he fell asleep. But I insisted that it was still unusual for him to ignore my message. I know something's wrong cause we talk every day. I said it seemed like he's already used to not having me around. He didn't even miss me. I felt like he was pushing me away. He replied and flipped it back to me. He said it seemed like I'm already used to not having him around. It's about time for me to become more independent. I was not expecting it and as far as I know I wasn't dependent on him. I guess we developed a habit and we have this great dynamics. I told him I couldn't believe he actually said that. I said I was happy when I saw his message and was too excited to share everything that's happened these past few days. I said I wasn't expecting our conversations would be like this. I tried to explain that I was just happy because we haven't talked for more than a week. 10 hours later, he replied and I didn't expect what he said. He said I am probably out of my mind (with laughing emojis) and that I already knew he's bad at replying to messages. (well, it's true but he never missed to reply to my messages) He said that I am the dependent one because I am complaining about our convos. He said maybe I should stop expecting to save myself from disappointment. And coming back to me this way reminds him why he likes to get away from people in the first place. I was hurt. I haven't replied to his message yet. I feel like he didn't address the real concern. He only flipped the situation and invalidated my feelings. I feel like I was never special. That I am just "one of the people" he wants to get away from. I don't know what to say to him and I think it's useless to explain my side since he's wise enough to get away from the issue. I wanna walk away but I feel like he also deserves an explanation. What to do?
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LDR ONLINE BREAKUP
Relationship Stress / by BigFoodforSmallMouths
Last post
 May 7th, 2019
...See more Last year, I met this guy online. We started dating last September and everything went fine. He told me everything including the girls he was with, he would update me with everything even if I dont ask for it. November of 2018, his exes made a group to attack me. They were telling me negative things about him. Sending screenshots of their conversations, made up stories just to look like he was already cheating on me. We had issues because of that. He became anxious about it, he was too worried I would believe them. I was also confused and we would argue. I became paranoid every time different dummy accounts would send DMs. It stressed me out. We were able to fix it but then the fear and the anxieties lingered. January 2019 he decided to break up with me. He said he wanted to fix himself. We didnt talk for a month and during our breakup we had another argument. I was trying to win him back but it ended to a heated conversation. So I decided to let go. Month later, he came back and asked for another shot. We were happy again. After another month, he decided to leave. He said the pressure of the LDR is stressing him out and he wanted to fix himself, lose weight, go back to work, etc. So I let go but it hurt so much. Five days later, he came back and we fixed our relationship. I thought we were okay because we were happy and he promised to stay with me no matter what. After another month, he left. He got depressed and wanted self-improvement. So I let go. Told him Id leave for good but he said he doesnt want me to leave his life permanently. I hoped hed change his heart. We would talk almost every day and hes sweet. We talked again about his plans and our relationship and we argued. He said he wont come back to me anymore (this is what he would tell me every time we break up). After a couple of minutes we forgave each other and he promised not to leave me. He wanted us to stay close forever because hes very comfortable with me and Im the closest person to him. Lately, he would schedule calls and we would talk for hours. He even said that he loves me and would text me with heart emojis. Told him I really need to leave but he wouldnt allow me. We would talk almost every day and he wouldnt want to talk about our relationship status but every time he calls we would reminisce about the past. He said he may seem distant but if I need him, I should text him asap and hell be there. Now, its been 3 days since we last talked. He didnt contact anymore. Im confused and I dont know what to do. I dont want to do the first move. Sometimes I want to just give up on us and move on like leave permanently, but I still want to be there for him. Haaaalp! 😩
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