Should I leave without an explanation?
There's this guy that I've been talking to every day for more than a year now. We're very close to each other and we both expressed our feelings for each other. He said he likes me, too, but doesn't want to commit yet because he wants to do a lot of things first. He also said that he considers me as one of his best friends and that I am already a part of his life. Our conversations are random and we even talked about how much we "want" each other. He would start and end his day by talking to me no matter how busy he is. He says I love you every day even though we are not a couple. We have built a strong connection and it is something that we both treasure. One day, he told me he would be gone for a week or so and would spend time somewhere away from home. This was not the first time, though. I got used to it. He would be gone for days and we wouldn't talk until he's back. I respect him and his space so much that I don't disturb him during this time. After 9 days, he messaged me again and we started being silly. My last message was kinda cold but I knew he knew that it was nothing. He didn't reply. I saw him went online every now and then but he didn't reply to my last message. He didn't even say good night. So, I messaged him and apologized for being silly. I said I thought he knew it was nothing since it wasn't the first time we were mean to each other. I pointed out that he even forgot to say good night which was very unusual since he would always leave a message no matter how sleepy he was. I said it seemed like he has changed. The next day, he replied and said he fell asleep. But I insisted that it was still unusual for him to ignore my message. I know something's wrong cause we talk every day. I said it seemed like he's already used to not having me around. He didn't even miss me. I felt like he was pushing me away. He replied and flipped it back to me. He said it seemed like I'm already used to not having him around. It's about time for me to become more independent. I was not expecting it and as far as I know I wasn't dependent on him. I guess we developed a habit and we have this great dynamics. I told him I couldn't believe he actually said that. I said I was happy when I saw his message and was too excited to share everything that's happened these past few days. I said I wasn't expecting our conversations would be like this. I tried to explain that I was just happy because we haven't talked for more than a week. 10 hours later, he replied and I didn't expect what he said. He said I am probably out of my mind (with laughing emojis) and that I already knew he's bad at replying to messages. (well, it's true but he never missed to reply to my messages) He said that I am the dependent one because I am complaining about our convos. He said maybe I should stop expecting to save myself from disappointment. And coming back to me this way reminds him why he likes to get away from people in the first place. I was hurt. I haven't replied to his message yet. I feel like he didn't address the real concern. He only flipped the situation and invalidated my feelings. I feel like I was never special. That I am just "one of the people" he wants to get away from. I don't know what to say to him and I think it's useless to explain my side since he's wise enough to get away from the issue. I wanna walk away but I feel like he also deserves an explanation. What to do?
Hey, listen to me I've been with such a guy. He doesn't want a relationship or any commitment now, he wants to discover world maybe. But you guys got habituated to each other.. he also felt that he is falling for you. To avoid this, he took a break. He might not have gone anywhere but went away from u since he was trying to avoid what he was feeling for you. Now all u can do is.. Talk to him directly about it, tell him that he plays an important role in ur life, u both can have a relationship if he wants . If not, then tell that u are habituated to him n if he doesn't want u, you both have to block eachother,cuz u r getting dependent on him. So give him two options as i told. N make things clear. N most probably, this guy might choose to stay away , since he really doesn't want any commitment, can b known by his behaviour. So u must move on girl! Wid all d love n support.., I'm telling u, Move on, be independent. Stay strong. ❤️
Thank you. I wanted to ignore his message and just walk away; however, I was reminded of my values. I feel like despite what happened, he deserves to hear my side. He needs to know how I felt after reading his message. I am aware that there are some men who don't know the impact of their words and/behavior unless you tell them. We have been talking every day for more than a year now and this is the first time he was mean and sarcastic to me. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I want to think that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and he just wanted to call me out. He can be sarcastic and tactless sometimes but not with me. I think that I can't just get away with this. I need to communicate and tell him everything. I realized that I want to keep the friendship but I need to be assertive this time. I need to set boundaries.
He may have hurt me but hurting him back by walking away is not the right thing to do. He deserves to know my side so we can talk about it. I'll probably say it in a nice way. I hope I'm doing the right thing.
