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Bloo101
144 M Embraced 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2016 Member sinceMarch 29, 2016
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Will I ever be ok again?
Trauma Support / by Bloo101
Last post
 March 30th, 2016
...See more Hi, my name is Bethaney. When I was 16 I got in to a relationship with a boy who was 2 years older. At first he was perfect but after a few months he turned verbally and physically abusive. I then discovered that he had schizophrenia and had stopped taking his tablets, so I stayed with him, because he was unwell and I loved him. After about six months of non stop abuse, that became progressively more violent I got him to take his tablets again. The abuse subsided for a while but it soon reappeared even on his medication, I was weak from trying to save him, but I couldn't leave him, I'd become so dependent, I'd pushed away all of my friends and family, I dropped to a size six, my body was beaten tired and bruised. He'd fractured my hip, thrown a knife at my head, and worse, and the emotional abuse was horrific. I finally left him after two years, because he went to attack my mum. My family had no idea what had been going on, I hid it well. I'm now 21 and it's been nearly 4 years since I left him. But somehow I still can't sleep for nightmares and I still have panic attacks if I'm cornered. I still have to deal with hip pain that will never heal. I feel like after all this time, I should be better. But I still class myself as a victim and not a survivor..
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I'm still not over it ***Trigger Warning***
Trauma Support / by Bloo101
Last post
 April 12th, 2016
...See more Hi, my name is Bethaney. When I was 16 I got in to a relationship with a boy who was 2 years older. At first he was perfect but after a few months he turned verbally and physically abusive. I then discovered that he had schizophrenia and had stopped taking his tablets, so I stayed with him, because he was unwell and I loved him. After about six months of non stop abuse, that became progressively more violent I got him to take his tablets again. The abuse subsided for a while but it soon reappeared even on his medication, I was weak from trying to save him, but I couldn't leave him, I'd become so dependent, I'd pushed away all of my friends and family, I dropped to a size six, my body was beaten tired and bruised. He'd fractured my hip, thrown a knife at my head, and worse, and the emotional abuse was horrific. I finally left him after two years, because he went to attack my mum. My family had no idea what had been going on, I hid it well. I'm now 21 and it's been nearly 4 years since I left him. But somehow I still can't sleep for nightmares and I still have panic attacks if I'm cornered. I still have to deal with hip pain that will never heal. I feel like after all this time, I should be better. But I still class myself as a victim and not a survivor..
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