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BraveMortal
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PathStep 3 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceMay 21, 2015
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Im 21 year old, never was loved, guided, treated well, and now lost and on a verge of being homeless
Trauma Support / by BraveMortal
Last post
 December 7th, 2016
...See more I'm Kevin , this is my story. I've lived with my biological family for 13 years in the beginning of my life. In a child's age, i was clueless and so were my family, they couldnt raise me right and they only dwelled on my weaknesses as a child instead of raising me to develop functional potential. As i grew, They became selfish to me, one in particalur only cared about himself and his unsuccessful talent that i doubtfully be revealed to society, his my grandpa. My mother(which i wished to death i was never born from) was a corrupt theif, and a physcotic, desparate and addicted internet user. My sister who feels sorry for them, and is mind controlled by my mom(fake mom) and the rest of god knows what.  This is how the story goes on, as i was growing to a middle school age, i was abused more emotionally, and physically, so i started to self-harm myself to signal for help. DSS came, and took me which i felt relieved but not for long. went to therreuputic fostering homes, put me in a family that i didn't enjoy, and smoked their ciggerites for hours everyday, so i knew consciously that they were fostering for a selfish reason. sec foster was the same but deceitful, didn't provide me enough to eat. o and third,  put me in another fostering home for a stuuppppid reason. she was such a freaking horrriblee person because she was to strict that i didnt trust, i knew she was into no good(she was literally a illed crazy mean women). Fourth family was a house full of wanna tough guy sons who treat me like im nothing, they smoke weed and cigs with their horrible influential mother. the father wanted to be changed by being a christian but failed to do so because of his families influence (yea the past just contradicts how you want to act to be changed).  On school nights they would take me to dangerous neighbor hoods and visit some mean strangers , i had no choice ut to stay up, this family had lots of issues. now fitfth family was a family i adored, but i had trust issues because of my previous homes, they got hurt because of the hateful words i said"you just like the rest of the foster homes, yall doing this for the money". This culprit became tension, and a misgiving, the son especially was really angry and said that i was worthless and a low-life. When i first met him we were cool, but because of my wary behaviour this made him pissed. This only made the situation worse because i was angry of his words. so i rebelled by ignoring them, and this just made it more worse. After all the tension they started to be wary of me because they thought i was crazy anyway of me being a theuruputic foster teen. So they wanted to get rid of me, in a deceitful and cruel manner .  They started being on nice mode for awhile which i knew they were pretending, the foster mom took me to wal-mart, bought me a "personal journal" and a security lock box to lock it away. she gave it all to me to keep" personally". I wrote on the journal for everthing i ever thought that was going through my head: personal erotic thoughts, what i thought about everything i was going through in life, and about them. I trusted because i thought they were being considerate and kind. But the security box had two keys in it, the other key was my personal key. So she tricked me to see what i was like and what i thought about them by invading my privacy. she called me all bunch of names , one them them were sex crazed and whatever. so after that i  had a emotional break down, and they even had the tenacity to record my emotional moment. So once i knew that they did i started to self-harm. Soo... after a few days, they said i had to a appointment and talk to my case worker and other. It was true.. they lured me to a building that i thought i was suitable to get in. the two started to talk to me like i was a aqcaintant but at the same tricked me with kind words and left me in a mental hospital.  they drugged me with the same pills. It was a horrible place. Iam not crazy to the point of insanity. i was just misled in life. Now this was my sixth fosterhome after the mental hospital. The family were good people, they provided for me, and i was fine for two years...until i decided to wean off my medicine, but couldnt because i was not allowed even while i was 19 because they were scared i was going to return to who i was.  So i said goodbye. DSS couldnt provide me a place to live like independent living. So i thought i could go face my past(my family). I Lived there for 5 months and they were corrupt way more, they would make me do things to have shelter, and provoke me. I couldnt wean off my meds.  So i set up a escape plan. go to jobcorps to wean off my meds.. so far im keeping track of my moods. Right now im afraid of the unknown, nobody to support me. The fear of being homeless.  I just have to cut everything i used to have and forget what i been through. i want to start a new life.  
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