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BrokenButterfly33
1 545 M Embraced 4
PathStep 22 Compassion hearts58 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceNovember 1, 2022
Bio

I am a Canadian, mother to two beautiful babies. I love to read, write, sing, and ride horses. I love playing board games and I am always up for meeting a new friend. 

Recent forum posts
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AITA: My Mother is Acting Like a Child
35 & Over Community / by BrokenButterfly33
Last post
 September 8th, 2023
...See more AITA: Background: My Mother lives with me. Our relationship has been less than normal/good my entire life. My Dad died when I was young and she focused more on her dating and live life than she ever did on me and my siblings. She has raging undiagnosed ADHD (which is where I get it from and I wasn't diagnosed until 33). I brought her to Ontario to live with me and my family (hubby and two kids under 8) after the place she was renting in Alberta was sold. We knew this might not end well because she's very self-centered and honestly, I suspect she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well. Everything was going fine. Great, actually. She would literally tell everyone how we "saved" her and she spent a lot of time with her grandkids and was helping out around the house. She's disabled and can't work and is on ODSP. All of a sudden things changed. Her primary focus is now dating and "finding companionship" again. She's a grown woman, all we asked is that she not bring her suitors to our farm because we know from the past that her choice in men is not good and we don't want our kids in danger (I was abused by some of the men she brought to our home when I was younger). She agreed to this. Now, her life has become entirely about dating. It's like having a *** teen in the house. She's always on her ohone, she can barely tolerate my kids (who both have ADHD as well, my poor husband😅) and she doesn't help out anymore and leaving the kids with her is not an option because she gets frustrated and walks away too quickly. We have two vehicles. Two mid-size SUVs. One of them is fairly old, but it's essentially become her vehicle. It is registered to me and we pay the insurance. She does put gas in it. It needs brakes done, badly. So last night we told her that she needs to help out with the maintenance cost on the vehicle she drives. I am currently on medical leave from work so we are a one income family, that means funds are tight and we can't afford $1100 for brakes right now (we do them ourselves, but it's still costly with this vehicle). We asked her not to drive the vehicle because it's not safe and we don't want to destroy the calipers and have to tack on another $1200 to the brake job that needs to be done. She also caused our insurance to go up by $250 a month because she has not given me/our insurance agent proof of insurance from Alberta so they have her set as a lower class driver until she provides proof of insurance and her driver record from AB. It's quite literally simple paperwork that needs to be done and this would save us a fair chunk of money, but she just won't do it or doesn't have time with her busy dating schedule, I don't know. I digress... Anyways, Mother lost her mind. Says she feels like a teenager whose freedom has been taken away. She even went as far as to say that she can't even move out because rent is too expensive so she's just stuck here. She doesn't pay us much for rent, the deal was she was to help around the house when she was physically able and to help with the kids while I worked (I work remotely, but again, I am off on medical leave currently, still could use her help though....). So, my question is, AITA for telling her she can't drive the vehicle until we have the money to fix it and to insist that she get her paperwork from AB done asap? Did I really "take away her freedom"? Am I treating her like a teenager? We are always very careful about how we talk to her because she's so easy to set off, but I feel like we have grounds for what we have asked of her, but she's acting like we are being absolutely horrible to her. You can literally cut the tension in my house with a knife and she's refusing to come out of her room right now. 😓 I'm an empath and with my rejection sensitivities, plus my own emotional regulation issues with my ADHD, this is getting really hard for me to handle. She doesn't have anywhere else to go - I don't want her to leave. My siblings pretty much said "good luck" and washed their hands of us when Mother moved out here. I don't know what to do and I'm so tired of this battle. Things were so good and then they just fell apart again...it's always when she starts dating.
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On Medical (Stress) Leave
Work & Career / by BrokenButterfly33
Last post
 September 8th, 2023
...See more I am on medical/stress leave at the recommendation of my family doctor. My depression and anxiety have been growing steadily for a long time and my life has been less than enjoyable for a few years. I went to my boss a couple weeks ago and told him how I was feeling: overworked, underappreciated, under paid, pushed to the max and completely burnt out. I am a Digital Marketing Specialist. It's my job to be creative and analytical, but he has pushed me so hard that I am so burnt out I don't know if I can actually come back from it. Then in our next team meeting he made a comment about my "brain coming back" and I have never felt so small in my entire life. I live with ADHD, GAD, Severe Depression and C-PTSD. I am also trying to fix my marriage, be a caregiver to my mother (which is completely stressful on its own), have two kids and with the economical crisis in Canada...our family finances are bleak to say the least. My leave is unpaid because my boss is too cheap to give us benfits. I have been applying to job after job and get no replies. I even have my own business, but finding clients is really hard right now because I have to charge "Canadian" prices and many companies are figuring out that you can get much cheaper "remote workers" from countries like the Philippines. I am terrified for my family. For my job. For this medical leave. I have been working since I was 13 (I'm 34 now), and I have never felt this financially stressed or career stressed in my entire life. I don't know what to do with myself on this leave. I don't have money to go sign up for programs or anything. I'm so tired I don't even want to get out of bed. I cry all the time. I'm so tired...my soul is exhausted. I don't know how much more I can take.
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The Air is Heavy.
35 & Over Community / by BrokenButterfly33
Last post
 November 7th, 2022
...See more All around me it feels...heavy. I'm going through so much right now. Too much to ever write out here. I feel like I can't even talk to anyone because my situation is so screwed up that I know it would be too hard for people to understand. Then there would be judgment and I just can't handle that right now. So instead I'm finding myself quieter than usual and preferring to be alone when I am afforded that opportunity. I used to be one that loved hugs and giving hugs...physical touch was my live language...but now I can't stand being touched. It's like my skin is on fire and if someone hugs me I might break into a million pieces. Do you ever feel like you're just done being hurt and inadvertently hurting others so you want to just turn off your feelings/heart? Just go numb? I remember being happy. Feels like forever ago. I'm already numb. I'm not suicidal, so please don't think that or send anyone after me. I'm just...broken and numb...and I'm not sure I'll ever be me again.
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