Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
CaraMel322
175 M Embraced 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2020 Member sinceDecember 20, 2019
Bio
Recent forum posts
CaraMel322 profile picture
Your abuser can be the one closest to you
Trauma Support / by CaraMel322
Last post
 January 29th, 2020
...See more So I was in a 3 year relationship with someone who was verbal and physically abusive. But he was also sexually abusive. After he would beat me, he would make me perform sexual acts to humiliate me. And when I didnt want to have sex with him, he would force himself on me and rape me. One time in particular, I was so tired, I just began to sob. He slapped me. Pushed me on the bed, I just laid there and pretended I wasnt there. And I guess for him, it wasnt exciting enough, so he finished and left. And I laid there crying my eyes out until I found the strength to wipe my tears, put my clothes on, and pretend nothing was wrong when he came back. Finally, I left. Thank God. It took a lot to get myself back to enjoying sex. And I am grateful to have someone like my husband who is gentle and understanding.
CaraMel322 profile picture
I
Trauma Support / by CaraMel322
Last post
 December 28th, 2019
...See more So from an early age, I was subjected to emotional and physical abuse. And all of these people were men that my mother was involved in. My mother seemed to have a type. And as I became older, the early stages of my romantic relationships were patterned against this. I met a man who was charming. And I thought he was perfect. Groomed me to shut out everyone but him. And made me feel as though I couldnt survive without him. The abuse started mentally. Then moved to a grab here. Then his hands moved to my neck. Then open handed hits. And choking me out until I passed out. Black eyes, swollen jaws, and bleeding wounds that still arent healed to this day. At first, I blamed myself. And thought I was the cause of all this pain. After a while, after finding strength to leave, I constantly would talk about the pain. To everyone. Thinking it would make me feel better. The beginning of the breakup, venting seemed to make me relive everything. When I met my husband, he was patient about it, but addressed the fact that I constantly brought up my abuse and my ex unconsciously. It made my realize that it still had an impact on my life in a negative way. And I needed to let go. Almost 3 years later, and I still have no proper way of processing those emotions. And I feel like I need someone to help me organize these thoughts. Only because now, I have a great man who only wants to see me better! This is way I joined this community.
Search more from @CaraMel322
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
8 total badges
Hand Shake Linked First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Teammate Forum Friend
Report an issue