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Confused612
290 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceJuly 12, 2022
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Confused
35 & Over Community / by Confused612
Last post
 September 5th, 2022
...See more have not posted myself on here but find I resonate with many of these posts and feelings that I read here. This might be a long post. I have had a rough few months and feel like this is a good place to spew out what I’m dealing with and going through without judgment and receive positive feedback. I was in a almost 12 year relationship and broke it off with him in May. He treated me terrible and still continues to and at the same time in the same conversation tell me he wants to work it out (not happening). I found a friend who I hadn’t seen in years and we started talking, he had some traumas as well (my dad passed away a year ago and his mom did in April and his wife had split up with him around the same time and finalized his divorce in June). I felt that we knew what each other were going through and that is how it started. I would talk to him about things and he would talk to me and it was someone who knew what I was going through and would listen to what I had to say. As time went on there was an attraction there with both of us so we started hooking up. I am a very insecure person so I question everything so I tend to annoy him with that (past traumas in my relationships). I would not open up my heart again as I know I was not ready for any type of relationship and just enjoyed hooking up and his company. We literally talked everyday, sometimes it would be for hours. I have never felt comfortable with anyone in my whole life and felt heard by him and he was always so sweet to me and put my needs over his own (definitely did not handle his own problems). I listened to outside people and they said they felt he had feelings for me and so I opened up a little more, started to kind of like him a little and just continued the hooking up and talking daily. Well yesterday I call him and he says he can’t do this anymore and it’s too much, that he is broken and doesn’t know which way to go. Me being the person I am told him if I’m too much then I’m willing to stop talking to him and never speak to him again. He told me he would be the one to call me pretty much. I really feel that he is the reason I was able to get through what I did with splitting up with my ex because he showed me what a real good guy was about even though he had his own stuff going on he always put me first. I cried because I opened up not only my heart a little but made myself vulnerable to someone again and this happened and I don’t feel I was as good of a friend as he was to me because I was putting myself first which I’ve never done before in my life. I feel this connection with him because he made me feel better about myself and made me feel like I was important. So after thinking about things and talking to a few friends I realize I don’t want to loose or let go of this person but know he needs some space to handle his own stuff because it is affecting his mindset.
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Confused
Relationship Stress / by Confused612
Last post
 September 7th, 2022
...See more I have not posted myself on here but find I resonate with many of these posts and feelings that I read here. This might be a long post. I have had a rough few months and feel like this is a good place to spew out what I’m dealing with and going through without judgment and receive positive feedback. I was in a almost 12 year relationship and broke it off with him in May. He treated me terrible and still continues to and at the same time in the same conversation tell me he wants to work it out (not happening). I found a friend who I hadn’t seen in years and we started talking, he had some traumas as well (my dad passed away a year ago and his mom did in April and his wife had split up with him around the same time and finalized his divorce in June). I felt that we knew what each other were going through and that is how it started. I would talk to him about things and he would talk to me and it was someone who knew what I was going through and would listen to what I had to say. As time went on there was an attraction there with both of us so we started hooking up. I am a very insecure person so I question everything so I tend to annoy him with that (past traumas in my relationships). I would not open up my heart again as I know I was not ready for any type of relationship and just enjoyed hooking up and his company. We literally talked everyday, sometimes it would be for hours. I have never felt comfortable with anyone in my whole life and felt heard by him and he was always so sweet to me and put my needs over his own (definitely did not handle his own problems). I listened to outside people and they said they felt he had feelings for me and so I opened up a little more, started to kind of like him a little and just continued the hooking up and talking daily. Well yesterday I call him and he says he can’t do this anymore and it’s too much, that he is broken and doesn’t know which way to go. Me being the person I am told him if I’m too much then I’m willing to stop talking to him and never speak to him again. He told me he would be the one to call me pretty much. I really feel that he is the reason I was able to get through what I did with splitting up with my ex because he showed me what a real good guy was about even though he had his own stuff going on he always put me first. I cried because I opened up not only my heart a little but made myself vulnerable to someone again and this happened and I don’t feel I was as good of a friend as he was to me because I was putting myself first which I’ve never done before in my life. I feel this connection with him because he made me feel better about myself and made me feel like I was important. So after thinking about things and talking to a few friends I realize I don’t want to loose or let go of this person but know he needs some space to handle his own stuff because it is affecting his mindset. I guess I’m just posting this to vent, see what other people think, heck I’m not really sure just know I’ve been dealing with a lot and it helps to read people with similar stories.
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Friends with benefits
35 & Over Community / by Confused612
Last post
 August 30th, 2022
...See more So I’m in I guess it’s called “situationship” or friends with benefits. I have known this person my whole life, he is a friend of my brothers. We do not only hook up but talk to each other daily whether it is by text or phone call (mostly phone call), we hang out and talk after hooking up and we have been talking to each other for 2 months but the hooking up has only been happening like the last two weeks 1-2x/week. We both ended relationships recently also, me a 12 year relationship that was awful which ended beginning of May and him a 4 year marriage in April (divorce final in June) that was as equally terrible. I feel like we are definitely more than just friends but not relationship. We both have our own issues regarding relationships right now but I’m wondering if anyone thinks it could develop into something more in the future?
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