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Deli138
170 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceApril 16, 2021
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It Just Seems Crazy
Relationship Stress / by Deli138
Last post
 October 25th, 2023
...See more I said this on this app. I said she is in love with me but the truth is I'm not sure I'm not a mind reader I just feel it with the connection between our hearts how we'd be if we lost each even as just friends. Our friendship is so strong that I just don't know what I'd do if I lost her or she lost me. I already I told I'm in love with her but she told me she was dating someone else. It didn't breakup our friendship and I've been there for her during her breakups. I want to tell her these guys she's always with she's not in love with them she goes out with them to feel accepted, not alone, make them feel good about themselves etc. But at the end of the day she's hurting herself and she doesn't need to do that. She doesn't need to scared and I already accept her as she is I'm even willing to forgive her for using me and lying to me (which she doesn't know I know) in college. That's how much I love her, but what I don't know is if I tell her all this will she become angry and will I have ruined a good friendship. It's crazy to think that I know all this but the truth is I don't know, what I do know is I love her and that's all.
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Her
Relationship Stress / by Deli138
Last post
 October 18th, 2023
...See more We've been through so much. I wouldn't have survived if she didn't keep me from the edge as did I. She saved me and I fell madly in love with her and when I finally got better I allowed myself a chance and I told her I'm in love with her. She said she was dating someone else it break up our friendship but I shouldn't be still in love with her but like I said she and I have been through so much. We motivated each other picked each other up when we were down and we're about to give up life and I just fell in love with her and I thought and still do and think it's crazy but don't care, she's in love with me too. I want to tell her she loves me too but I can't because it sounds crazy and it's not fair to her and for now I love her from a distance even though I want to tell her "I love you"
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Heart Attack
Anxiety Support / by Deli138
Last post
 October 11th, 2021
...See more Right now I just can't stand to see my family. I'm hiding in my room watching 13 Reasons Why and just wanting the day to be over. It's because whenever I see them it just feels like I am in a place where no one understands me or my mental health and don't realize the more I'm ridiculed, harassed made fun of etc. It sets off a sequence of events that happened a long time ago where I was assaulted harmed made fun of and bullied and not understood. They don't realize just how much it hurts, how scared I am or understand what I went through and go through everyday with my autism. Instead they mock, ridicule and pretend it's all in my head or it doesn't exist making me isolate from them and hide in my room.
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The Pain
Depression Support / by Deli138
Last post
 November 28th, 2021
...See more I look into a crowd of people with friends and other kinds of relations with other, and I'm the one person who is by himself because he doesn't think he's good enough to be their friend. Nor do they think that I'm good enough to be their friend. I envy what they have but throughout my life I've never had any friends or anything special with someone and I would be the person who sits by himself eating his lunch and just wish I had what everyone else gets to have, but to them I am outcast whose not good at anything.
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My Big Heart
7 Cups Online Therapy / by Deli138
Last post
 May 31st, 2021
...See more I am always willing to forgive anyone. This person (who I will call Nora)who I consider as a friend has been described by my other friend ( who I will call Kasha) to be manipulating and has been manipulated in the past, but the last few months Nora has been helping with my mental health and has been there for me ever since Kasha was in the hospital. Nora claimed that she too experienced things that I have (I.e being bullied). She has mental issues and understands it. But because Kasha said that she manipulated her and said things that I didn't know about I couldn't sleep all night and now. I'm willing to forgive anyone if they do lie to me. But my fear is if Nora has lied to me which I really doubt and hope she has not will I be able to hug her and tearfully tell her "I forgive you" ( which I really want to that if was lying to me) or will I make her think that after being hurt which I am from possibility that I don't want to forgive her even though if it comes to that I'll be trying to process it.
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Alone and Autistic
Depression Support / by Deli138
Last post
 May 21st, 2021
...See more They say that autistic people like to be alone, they can't feel empathy and they shouldn't drive. For me that's not all true, because for me I do like when I have space but I don't like to be or feel alone, I feel empathy a lot of it but for that to happen I need to be able to understand someone before that happens which can sometimes take a while and lastly I have a driver's license and I'm a safe driver which is something that seems annoying to people who drive aggressive sometimes which they think I can't do but I can but choose not to. Yet I'm the one that gets screamed at and frustrated with because I am not like everyone and because of that I am harassed and bullied by classmates, coworkers, and random strangers who don't understand me, even other autistic people. I feel like I have no one and it's been taking a toll on me and I keep on asking myself when will it end it seems like it never will.
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