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ERas
351 M Embraced 3
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceDecember 15, 2015
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I've been accused of creeping out a classmate and lost everyone.
Relationship Stress / by ERas
Last post
 May 10th, 2016
...See more Long story short, I'm a 25 year old guy studying Beauty Therapy with a small class of around 11 girls as you'd expect. Most of them are younger than me with a few just as old. I've been suffering from depression, Avoidant Personality Disorder and the social anxiety that's tied with it for three years. I'm not as bad as I was at the start from therapy but I still feel I'm in the deep end but in a different way. I'm not the confident type given with what I'm dealing with but I do try to be as social as I can as my social life is pretty much the biggest issue. Within the class, I would eat lunch with six of them that formed a clique. I get along with most of them with the exception of one of them and the person that's tied with this story isn't her but another from that group. During one of the body treatments we were learning, I ended up being paired with a classmate aged 17 and that I had really good relations with. I was the client so all I did was lay on the bed and had a mud mask painted on me by her. Everything was fine from my perspective, the teacher is really loud, energetic and funny so watching her demonstrate step by step was pretty funny. When it was my turn, I had to wait and be taught after class as she said she was feeling sick and thought nothing of it. Later during the week, I notice some odd behaviour from her and a few others within that group. I look on Facebook to see if something happened and I notice that she deleted me. I also check Instagram and Snapchat and I see that she's deleted me from there along with one other classmate deleting me from Facebook and later on, two others delete me from Snapchat, a past teacher deletes me from Facebook and I've been removed from the class group chat. It's pretty clear that she hates me for some reason and she's been telling the group and the teacher about it. I'm never the type to confront people so it took me a few days to build up the courage. But when I did, she sounded as bubbly as she normally is like nothing had happened. We texted about it and she ended up telling me that during the treatment, I apparently made her and others so uncomfortable that it made her sick. Hearing this from her was a huge shock to me. She pretty much did a complete 180. Fast forward to now, I've deactivated Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram. I've stopped eating and talking with/to them and I'm generally eating alone or seeking out other classmates to eat and talk with as I can't handle being alone. Normally I'd be pretty talkative and social but now I'm back into my shell and only selectively talking to a few classmates along with small talk with two other people in the group that one wasn't in the class at the time and another is naturally friendly and has seemingly warmed back to me but that's probably disappeared from the last time I saw her. I've only got one more week of class to deal with and I'm finished. I've spoken to a counseller, my psychologist, the course director and a classmate that I had good relations with (Different story) and they all say that it's pretty much a shitty situation, not much I can do about it aside from keeping my head up and survive through to the end. I've already apologised during the text conversation. Now I still feel as if I need to apolgise for my behaviour to the whole group and give out some sort of explination to them about myself and what happened from my perspective to at least get some closure to it. I also feel as if that this wasn't a one time incident but that I've been doing it constantly and later on with other people I meet, I'd do it again without me knowing. Half of this post is me trying to unload but should I give the group an apology to them? I seriously feel that if I did, it would at least make things better if they knew that I'm just awkward and everything's just a misunderstanding. I honestly can't stop thinking about it while I still have the private reputation of being the creepy asshole in class.
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