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Eaglebearer99
142 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 11, 2020
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Agoraphobia is destroying my life
Anxiety Support / by Eaglebearer99
Last post
 May 15th, 2020
...See more Hi, I've been suffering from agoraphobia for 5 months. I started therapy a week ago. Everytime I leave the house I get severe palpitations, pounding headache, tunnel vision and an overwhelming sense of fear. I always always feel like I'm about to die because of my high heart rate. I've been to cardiologists they ruled out any structural disease. Ekgs showed intense sinus tachycardia (approx. 170bpm). When my anxiety levels dropped my heart rate goes back to normal. However Im still not convinced this is not going to kill me. I have to pop a xanax everytime those panic attacks happen. I don't want to live like this forever. Being dependent on a pill just to leave my apartment. I also have substantially restricted my life. I don't travel, I don't commute, i don't drive anymore etc. Everytime I try to do something it ends up in failure. I always get massive panic attacks. Does anyone else suffer from it? How do you deal with it? God I feel so alone and desperate!
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Am I dealing with a manipulative, narcissistic mother? ?
Anxiety Support / by Eaglebearer99
Last post
 January 16th, 2020
...See more Hi I'm 21 years old. I'm a college student but I stay with my parents since they always wanted me to never leave our home. Anyways things seem to be rocky lately especially with my mother. She's always trying to control me in every aspect of my life. From what I want to wear to who I want to be friends with . She doesn't appreciate my choices. She's always looking for a chance to criticise me. My dad travels a lot so thank God he doesn't have to put uo with her 24/7. A couple of weeks ago we had a big fallout, I announced to her that I was going to get a job, rent an appointment and try to live an independent life as a normal adult. When she heard that she burst out crying yelling and acting irrational . She accused me of abandoning her like her father did when she was young( her father died of lung cancer when she was only 9 leaving her behind with a crippled mother and an autistic older brother) after we had our argument she popped a couple of sedatives and locked herself in her room. I spent that whole day knocking on her door and she wouldn't answer. Needless to say I was petrified. I told her that if she wouldn't open the door to the count of three I was going to call the cops. Then I heard the key turning and she showed up at the door looking like a total mess. A few days ago I went to Philadelphia (we live in New York by the way) to visit a friend. She called me at around 2 am waking me up and she started yelling on the phone that she had severe rectal bleeding. Once again I was terrified. I told her to call paramedics immediately but she deflected and started to cry hysterically and blamed me for her bleeding! She said it was me leaving her and being a bad daughter that caused the bleeding as well as "a wide variety of other deadly symptoms", these were her exact words. I'm so fed up with this. When I try to talk to my dad about it he seems to ignore me. They have basically separated. A couple of months ago I found out my dad has an affair with a woman in another state but I kept it a secret. My mom is so demanding. S She is smothering me. I feel like i have no life to live anymore. However i can't leave her! She's my mother! I'd feel super guilty if anything happened to her because of me. I understand she's had a problematic childhood but it's not my fault. I'm getting panic attacks almost every day because of this messed up situation! Is there anything I can do?
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