FeelinglostinAZ Member Profile

...See more Hello, I am a 50 yr old, married for 28 years (been together for almost 34 years), 2 grown children, 3 grandkids and I’m miserable!!! I have been through *** and back, Five times!!! Since birth my life has been a lot of ups but looking back on everything, ALOT more downs. When people hear my life history, most are so shocked (chin on the floor), then ask me- “How the *** are you not locked in a loony bin? How are you not mental “checked out”??” And my answer to all of them has been “why should I allow something or someone to have that power over me, only to destroy me? I am in control of my destiny? I am in charge of my happiness? Why let someone or something have that power over one’s self? It may have made me into who I am today, but it doesn’t control me!!! I have had many years of therapy and been given the tools to attack a problem face to face, process it, and file it away so that I can keep moving forward. But I am really lost and don’t know where to go from here. I feel like my marriage is going down the drain, it’s not getting any better, we (my husband & I) have been crossing the line when it comes to pushing each others buttons, gotten physical, and even crossed the line when speaking (yelling) to each other. There is no “fair fighting” with us, we feed off each other. One will be calm, cool, not upset, while the other is *** off, being hurtful, spiteful, and down right cruel. And it’s not always the same person. We trade back and forth. I’m so tired of all the hurt, and being hurtful. Also this all started because I’m an Aries, he is a Leo. Both fire signs, he does not forget nor forgive, he cannot let the past be the past. He says “he doesnt have to”, and that my crazy *** is just trying to make him look bad. Me on the other hand, I am super stubborn, have an identic memory, and I work off of time lines. We should have split many years ago, but neither of us really has anywhere to go, so we are kinda stuck with one another, just going thru the motions. While loosing all respect for one another, along with many deaths, and it seems like it’s inevitable that we are going to split up. And maybe so, but I have got to try EVERYTHING in my power to salvage what little bit of a marriage I have left, before throwing the towel in and calling it quits. So my biggest question is when is enough - enough? When should one pack a bag and walk out the door for good? 34 years is a lot to just toss out like trash? A lot of sweat, blood, tears, and a hellava lot of time wasted!!! Please let me know what yall think??

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Hello, I’m Heather. 😊👋🏼 I’m here to provide a warm, safe, and...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio