Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Flayyy
2 266 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceMay 27, 2026
Bio
Recent forum posts
Flayyy profile picture
I don’t know what I feel
Depression Support / by Flayyy
Last post
 June 17th
...See more I felt nothing for a long time. I’ve lied, cheated, and ignored just to try and feel something other than what I can’t describe right now. I don’t care about anything but I’m afraid to push it all away. I want to be alone and give in to my self destruction and addictions but I don’t wanna hurt other people or lose them. I’m not living or coping for my own wellbeing but for others, however the ways I cope would hurt those people as well if they knew about them. I speed on empty roads to feel something in my stomach, I cheated to feel like I was appreciated by someone who wasn’t my faithful wife just because we were having problems, I lie about where I’ve been and what I do just to feel like I have some sort of excitement, I think about a life I could’ve had if I’d made different choices instead of loving what I have, and at the end of the day I don’t know what I feel about any of it. I don’t really care I guess, I’m not sure. I just have to keep waking up and being someone I’ve cultivated for others so that they can’t keep being happy. I’m really tired. Idk I’m just typing stuff I guess.
Flayyy profile picture
Why am I just a bad person
Relationship Stress / by Flayyy
Last post
 June 3rd
...See more 26 years I’ve been the good son, the good friend, the good partner. Now I barely speak to my parents, I only just rekindled my friendship from childhood, and I’ve cheated on my fiancée. I haven’t felt anything for over a year, any emotion except for fear and discomfort. I was able to think when I stopped talking to my parents but now they think I hate them. I am glad I rekindled my friendship but I’ve lost so much time with him and his family, his daughter doesn’t even remember me. I thought because I was numb and this woman made me feel something for a little that intimacy wasn’t a problem, I can’t even say I wanted to do it. Now I can’t tell my fiancée because I’m the only person who has ever cared she has said. I’m the only one who’s never forced myself on her, I’ve never yelled at her or raised a hand, the first time she didn’t want to be intimate with me she cried because she was scared to tell me and I just accepted her saying “no” and didn’t force it. She’s been through enough. I’ve done the bare minimum, except I failed simply being a loyal partner which is the only thing she asked of me. I have a daughter, and I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if someone did this to her and I’m not sure what is wrong with me, I’m not sure why I’m like this and I’m growing so very tired of being me. I don’t want to be anymore. I take everything good I have and I just take advantage of it, I’m not sure why but I would like some other answer than I’m just a bad human but every turn I make that seems to be the answer. I know I’m doing wrong but no matter what I do I fail at being better. 
Flayyy profile picture
I feel like a disease
20 & Over / by Flayyy
Last post
 July 8th
...See more 26 years I’ve been the good son, the good friend, the good partner. Now I barely speak to my parents, I only just rekindled my friendship from childhood, and I’ve cheated on my fiancée. I haven’t felt anything for over a year, any emotion except for fear and discomfort. I was able to think when I stopped talking to my parents but now they think I hate them. I am glad I rekindled my friendship but I’ve lost so much time with him and his family, his daughter doesn’t even remember me. I thought because I was numb and this woman made me feel something for a little that intimacy wasn’t a problem, I can’t even say I wanted to do it. Now I can’t tell my fiancée because I’m the only person who has ever cared she has said. I’m the only one who’s never forced myself on her, I’ve never yelled at her or raised a hand. I’ve done the bare minimum, except I failed simply being a loyal partner. I have a daughter, and I couldn’t imagine what’s I’d do if someone did this to her and I’m not sure what is wrong with me, I’m not sure why I’m like this and I’m growing so very tired of being me. I don’t want to be anymore. I take everything good I have and I just take advantage of it, I’m not sure why but I would like some other answer than I’m just a bad human.
Search more from @Flayyy
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
9 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Bundled Forum Friend
Report an issue