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Floodedmoon
168 M Embraced 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2016 Member sinceFebruary 5, 2016
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Anxiety Support / by Floodedmoon
Last post
 February 9th, 2016
...See more Recently everything's seemed hopeless; I dropped out of college due to my agoraphobia, my mum took away my car for no reason, and in turn I lost my job, and I've been tempted to take my own life. One of my biggest fears is failing in life. I don't know what I'd do if I never amount to anything. It terrifies me, triggers panic attacks. Just today, though, I've been given the opportunity to study in New York. I would stay with my Uncle out there, and I'd be taught how to make clothing and things like that. However, I'm terrified to go. I've never been good at connecting with people in real life, and I'm not good at getting close to people. The one friend I live with now is the closest friend I've ever had. I don't know what I'd do without her. Could I really leave her? I'd be leaving both of us alone, because she's like me. She's my everything. But not going risks my success. I don't know what to do.
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Agoraphobia
Anxiety Support / by Floodedmoon
Last post
 February 23rd, 2016
...See more I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia in college, of course, I didn't complete college because I dropped out the first semester. It seems it's hard to do well when you rarely attend. Since then I've been locked up in my room, only leaving to go to the bathroom and get food from the kitchen. I live with my best friend and her family, and agoraphobia coupled with my severe social anxiety, I get very anxious and awkward around her family. I was so afraid to deal with even the idea of a small conversation with them that I never left my room. They were great people; very nice, bought me stuff, not at all scary, I just couldn't do it. The only time I left the house was to go to work, but then my mother took away my car, thus causing a chain reaction involving me losing my job and along with it my will to live. At one point I wrote a suicide note, but didn't follow through with the act itself. My mum and I aren't on good terms, and everything felt hopeless. My room was beginning to feel like a prison, one that I could leave at any time but was afraid to. I finally got a doctor and now I'm on a new medication, Venlafaxine. It's been kicking in, and I made goals for myself: leave my room 2 hours a day, and leave the house 2 hours a week. Wish me luck, I need it.
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