Decisions Decisions

Recently everything's seemed hopeless; I dropped out of college due to my agoraphobia, my mum took away my car for no reason, and in turn I lost my job, and I've been tempted to take my own life. One of my biggest fears is failing in life. I don't know what I'd do if I never amount to anything. It terrifies me, triggers panic attacks.

Just today, though, I've been given the opportunity to study in New York. I would stay with my Uncle out there, and I'd be taught how to make clothing and things like that. However, I'm terrified to go. I've never been good at connecting with people in real life, and I'm not good at getting close to people. The one friend I live with now is the closest friend I've ever had. I don't know what I'd do without her. Could I really leave her? I'd be leaving both of us alone, because she's like me. She's my everything. But not going risks my success. I don't know what to do.