Fluffyf0xe5 Member Profile

...See more I have dealt with this anxiety for a few years now, but within the last year it has intensified immensely bringing physical effects. I have been into horses my whole life, because my mum has had them. When I was little my mum had a pony for me, and I stayed going up the yard with her until I started secondary school and my pony passed away. After I finished school, I started going up again, during my break my relationship with my mother had depleted, but when I started going back up there, it seemed to get better. Now that I was up there I decided to get my own horse.. So I saved up and put a deposit on a foal that was named after me, and I got her in November.On that day I had the worst anxiety attack and ended up in a&e.I started blaming it on the foal and the responsibility I had now got into. I told my mum but she is very sensitive and blew up at me saying it was stupid and I should face up to it.. I persevered, and built a relationship with this foal, but the last few weeks the young horse has started rearing and kicked out at me the other day.This set my anxiety off really bad and I felt so scared, like I couldn't deal with it.Anyway when she kicked my mum went crazy, and said she should go. But later she had changed and said i should expect it because she's young. Yesterday she reared up and shook me again, and I broke down.My mum broke down too saying it couldn't go on,So then I made the decision to sell her.But now I can't help thinking it is the wrong choice.

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