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FuzzyFeeling
4,125 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2019 Member sinceJanuary 22, 2017
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Do unresolved traumas affect you after 12 years?
Depression Support / by FuzzyFeeling
Last post
 January 17th, 2019
...See more Hello everyone, i've been on those forums on and off in the past, idk how many years, i think i posted once or twice about a situation of mine before, and everyone is always helpful. I'm a 21 year old guy , and im leading a relatively good life. i have common depression, and lately, something has happened. I knew depression eats away your interests and your fun activities, but i didn't know it's capable of eating away my uncontrollable addiction to video games. Lately (1 year ago) i've lost the interest to game, which was my only resort really of experiencing "fun". i find myself now unable to experience "fun" and im not talking just about gaming , i tried alot of other things. If i can describe the way i feel it's not sadness or hopelessness , it's just frustration, alot of it. Some of the symptoms i think are:- 1- i cringe alot at times where it just makes no sense(yet i still feel embarassed for others) 2-i pray and sleep if im feeling not so human, i take time offs from work if needed. 3-i have intimacy issues, and i'm comfortable with keeping distance with people , including close friends. 4-Always frustrated because i can't do fun stuff anymore for 1+ years. 5- i don't remotely enjoy hanging out with close friends , it's a chore if anything, i do it to keep apearances up, even thought im an active participant of my group if not the heart of the group. I just am clueless on what the name of my condition is, and i'm looking for a categorization so i can look more in the right direction. And could it be stemming from an unresolved trauma that affects my "fun" brain receptors?
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An all or nothing. tw: rape
Trauma Support / by FuzzyFeeling
Last post
 January 27th, 2017
...See more Greetings, i'm having an ordeal deciding if revisiting a location ive been raped in ,would cure the spontaneous depression i've been going throught. a little bit of back story : when i was a 10 year old boy , i was blackmailed by some 15 year olds for sexual favours , which lasted for about 3 months in total. eventually theyve been exposed and legally dealt with. and i got over it COMPLETELY. meaning i seeked medical attention ive been to therapy , ive recieved medication and stopped medication) i later joined the army. the issue im having is , for so long , i rarely developed an interest in ANYTHING ,and im almost 20 this year , which really begs the question of wtf is really going on? what i did notice about this dazzling situation is: 1- i seem to be solely interested/still am with things ive liked before the incident ( i like motorcross dirtbikes , some old pokemon games , and a certain crush) 2-anything post-incident is either thrown , or simply lost interest in a remarkable amount of time (a week at max) 3-post-incident i've become a former shell of myself(cant recall HOW i was exactly, since i was 10 lol) ,meaning amongst a group of friends , im exceptionally good at listening to others , which makes you a really good crying cornerstone + im quite reserved, and colourless(either due to a lack of personality , or this is my natural one , not sure) which basically makes me go well with ALOT of ppl , the bad , the good , and shy , the bully. there really isnt no 1 i dont go exceptionally well with ( i honeslty find that bizarre) its worth mentioning: people usually are polite when im around ,even to each other, as if there is a certain pressure i exert when im around .-. The thing is now , Im getting sudden attacks of growing depression , FOR NO REASON. i do not have 1 reason to be depressed , but i still wake up every day seeing 23 shades of black filtered through my eyes as i carry on my day. confused by this growing depression , i talked to someone over the internet anonymously. (not that reliable of a source , but hey hear me out.) He suggested i re visit the location ive been raped in , and just sit there for a bit. (its a place just over the hill) The interesting thing is , IM ACTUALLY LEGIT SCARED OF VISITING THAT PLACE , even though no one is around and there is nothing exactly terrifying about it , but there it is , the feeling of sudden doom to describe it more exactly. And this makes me want to visit it even more , given my subconscious is making me scared shitless for no apparent reason. i can personally pull it off , but i wanted to check in here for some feedback from professionals regarding this method , because im afraid it might revive some even worse burried memories i might have forgotten , and i end up actually f*cking myself. your feedback is highly appreciated.
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