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GingerRoot
269 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2019 Member sinceApril 29, 2018
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Panic and Paranoia ruin EVERYTHING
Anxiety Support / by GingerRoot
Last post
 January 24th, 2019
...See more I have struggled with anxiety/panic/paranoia for as long as I can remember. This past 12 months has been the worst by far. My paranoia has consumed me and as I result has destroyed my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 10.5 years (married for 6) and he is in the process of filing for divorce because of the woman I have become. He tells me that for the majority of the time Im not the woman he married and that he doesnt know who I am anymore. The main source of my paranoia is that he wants another woman. Not just any woman, a close friend of his. She is beautiful and he has admitted that he is attracted to her. If she posts a photo on social media, he likes it. Never misses one. They talk often and at times he has hidden or deleted messages (he said this is because it was easier than dealing with the kick off from me finding out he was talking to her) He doesnt hide when he talks to her now. He has known her for 17 years and when I first met him he told me how much he fancied her, this was when we were just friends so I of course encouraged him to ask her on a date. He never did and we got together. The thing that seems to drive my paranoia and panic crazy is that he talks to her about our marriage and our problems. He tells me it helps him to vent and clear his head. But she tells him to leave me, encourages him in relation to the divorce and at times has said mean things about me. He doesnt join in with the mean things but he also doesnt defend me or say he doesnt like what shes said/saying. When Ive asked him about this he simply tells me its her opinion and that everyone is entitled to have an opinion. That her opinion does not shape or effect his decisions when it comes to us. I seem to be stuck in a rut of asking him constant questions. Which he hates, he feels interrogated and like Ive lost the ability to have a normal conversation. And hes right, all I do is bombard him with question after question. Usually about her and how he feels about her and its as if I dont know how to stop. I feel like Im losing everything and I dont know what to do or where to turn for help.
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