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GlitterGirl24
2,124 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2017 Member sinceFebruary 13, 2017
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Motor Vehicle OCD....afraid husband caused an accident
OCD & Related Behaviors / by GlitterGirl24
Last post
 November 10th, 2021
...See more About 14 yrs ago my husband got an OUI.He doesn't drink a lot, but when he does,he gets buzzed quick.Sometimes I think he drives when he shouldn't.It is a BIG problem in our relationship. We have been going to counseling, and he has started to realize he needs to be more responsible. He is away on business.Last night he told me he was going to the hotel bar. We were talking, then his phone went off. No messages were being delivered so I knew it was his battery. After a few hours, I got nervous and called the hotel bar. They said he wasn't there. A few hours later he called me. He said he had fallen asleep and didn't charge his phone. I told him the bar said he wasn't there, he said maybe he had already gone upstairs or maybe he was in the bathroom. He said he was exhausted from traveling and working and as soon as his head hit the pillow he went to sleep. He told me he had some beers at dinner. I am now PARANOID that maybe he actually took out his rental car and went out and was driving after a few. I looked at the police log and there are a few accidents or hit and runs. It says hit and run, no injury. I don't know what to do. He SWEARS to me that he was at the hotel and didn't leave or drive the car. He returned it this morning. However, it was under his bosses name (he had an emergency so my husband brought it back). He also took a video of the car to prove it to be, and it doesn't look like there are any noticeable scratches or dings. What do I do? It was a big city he was in with many counties. Should I be calling and asking if his vehicle was suspected in anything? Or seeing if a vehicle like his is being watched for? Or, do I need to let this go and start trusting my husband. I have OCD and a LOT of issues around thinking we have caused harm or hurt people. I do have trust issues with him but he has been better. I am very controlling, so I look at every situation with a fine fine lens. I trust no one. Am I overreacting?
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I keep thinking I have caused harm to others....how do I stop?!?!
OCD & Related Behaviors / by GlitterGirl24
Last post
 May 24th, 2017
...See more I am having a very hard time driving lately. I keep thinking I have created accidents or have caused harm to others. Just yesterday, I entered a rotary at the same time as a little old man. He came to a stop and I kept going. I slowed down a bit and tried to wave him on, but he sat there. I went first, and then he followed behind. I could see him in my rear view, with his hands at 10 and 2. He put on his blinker and drove up a street by a store. I tried to turn around because at first, I thoguht he was goign to the store and I could stop and make sure he was okay. But, he had gone up the street-not to the store. I am not sure what to do now. I am having panic attacks because I think that maybe I scared him because I was in the rotary, going around, and he didn't think I would stop. I don't believe I was speeding, and I wasn't on my phone or anything. I called the local police station and they said they didn't get any calls for medical that night. But, maybe he is not from that town? Or, maybe he had a heart attack in his house and didn't call an ambulance because he was alone?! I can't sleep or eat. I am so so worried. I keep checking the obituaries and I think that if I see a little old man, who passed away suddenly, who was a veteran, it is ALL my fault! What do I do?
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I think I cursed my dog and am PANICKED about it!!!!
Anxiety Support / by GlitterGirl24
Last post
 May 24th, 2017
...See more I had a situation at work where I told a few co-workers something about myself and something I was having a hard time with that was eating away at me mentally. It got back to my boss. He told me he heard something and asked me about it.I know no one was gossipping or spreading news maliciously; they were just worried about me and wanted to share concern with people who could help me. I asked my boss where he heard it and he said he didn't want to reveal. I tried and tried to get him to tell me because I was panicked who it came through. I swore on my dog's life I wouldn't say anything. Eventually he told me.I found out he heard it from my other boss, Kim.I never told Kim,so I knew one of my friends must have. I didn't mention anything to Kim, and will never confront her about it, but I did tell one of my friends that I knew Kim was the one who told my boss. Soon after, I realized I had sworn on my dog's life the day before that I wouldn't say anything! (When I said I wouldn't say anything, I thought my boss would tell me my FRIEND said it, and I meant I wouldn't bring it up to her. When he told me it was someone else, I went in to panic mode and tried to figure out who told THAT person!) THE POINT IS, I swore on my dog's life I wouldn't say anything,and while I didn't say anything to the person who actually told my boss the secret,I did tell another friend who told that I knew who told my boss, and I named the person. I'm SO panicked because this all happened in a high anxiety state and I should have never said anything. I regret it and will never do that again. I came clean and told my boss that I told one person, I didn't tell him who, and I apologized. I also apologized to my dog and went to church. I talked to God later and explained the whole story, and asked for forgiveness. My dog is like my child-she is my whole world and I love her dearly. I have not been able to stop my anxiety. I feel like if something happens now, or in 8 years, it is all my fault; like I have put some awful curse on her. I feel like a murderer. I feel like I have committed an unspeakable act. How do I live with myself? What do I do?
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Feel I like I jinxed my dog....what do I do to undo this?!?!?!?! SUPERSTITIOUS!!!!
OCD & Related Behaviors / by GlitterGirl24
Last post
 May 22nd, 2017
...See more I had a situation at work where I told a few co-workers something about myself and something I was having a hard time with that was eating away at me mentally.It got back to my boss. He told me he heard something and asked me about it.I know no one did it maliciously,they were just worried about me. I asked my boss where he heard it and he said he didn't want to reveal.I swore on my dog's life I wouldn't say anything. Eventually he told me.I found out he heard it from my other boss,Kim.I never told Kim,so I knew one of my friends must have. I didn't mention anything to Kim,but I did tell one of my friends that I knew Kim told my boss. Then I realized I had sworn on my dog's life the day before that I wouldn't say anything! (When I said I wouldn't say anything, I thought my boss would tell me my FRIEND said it, and I meant I wouldn't bring it up to her. When he told me it was someone else, I went in to panic mode and tried to figure out who told THAT person!) I tried to talk to my friend later and brought up that I THOUGHT it was our other boss and he didn't actually tell me that. She said "Oh, I thought you said he did....". I said "No, he didn't say that, I said I THINK it was her. Basically I confused my friend. THE POINT IS, I swore on my dog's life I wouldn't say anything,and while I didn't say anything to the person who actually told my boss the secret,I did tell the other friend. Have I jinxed my dog? How do I undo it? Im SO panicked because this all happened in a high anxiety state and I should have never said anything. I regret it and will never do that again. I came clean and told my boss that I told one person, I didn't tell him who, and I apologized. I also apologized to my dog and asked God not to hurt her Is my dog doomed? What do I do to undo this? I am very superstitious and was in a bad state of mind when I did this....I need to make it better. My dog is like my child-she is my whole world and I love her dearly.
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Really disturbed and CAN'T stop worrying
OCD & Related Behaviors / by GlitterGirl24
Last post
 May 18th, 2017
...See more I'm having a super tough time. I'm 28 and tutor a group of middle schoolers at a tutoring company. At the center, one of them had his hands under the table and seemed to be touching himself. I cued my while group to get their hands on the table, as i didnt want to embarrass him. This happened a few.more times, so he was obviously doing something down there. I should add, he was holding his hands like he had something sticky on them....I asked if he needed to wash them and he said no. We work on ipads, so I had to touch the iPad he was using. About 10 minutes later the group was thankfully over. I reported what happened to my director immediately. I locked up the iPad and pushed in a chair, then went to the bathroom. As I wiped, my piece of paper was small and I touched myself by accident. I then realized that In the chaos of clean up I never washed my hands after I touched the iPad that boy was using. I think i am ovulating right now, so im freaked out that if there was remnants of something on the ipad, I could be pregnant. I'm not on birth control. Is this possible?? I know this sounds messed up, but I don't know what else to do or who to ask. I was going to take a plan b pill, as i am not on birth control, but feel like a scumbag because of the situation! I know it sounds far fetched but everything online says it can last in the air for 60 minutes!!!! And that you can be pregnant if it gets on or around you, which I wiped myself. Also....if I take plan b, my cycle coyld get messed up. And I could be due in a week for it. Or, everytime i see a commercial i frrak put, or it will make me think "ooh I was pregnant BUT I took plan b to stop it. of But if I dont take it, i could get pregnant and this would not be okay. Help. Please.
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I can not bear living with this and thinking about it all the time
OCD & Related Behaviors / by GlitterGirl24
Last post
 May 11th, 2017
...See more This is going to make me sound ridiculous, but I feel like I can post here and not be judged. 14 years ago, I was in a car accident. I was changing a CD, or grabbing a CD, I forget. The guy in front of me on the highway slammed on his brakes. I did too....then I switched lanes so I woudln't hit him. Then, since it was raining, my tires slipped and I ended up going BACK into the lane I was in and crossing another lane. A driver coming in that lane hit me in my door and spun me around. I was okay. I don't remember much after because I was panicked. I BELIEVE I asked if everyone in their car was okay. I don't THINK I saw ambulances. I remember my car got towed away and I rode with the tow truck guy. Later that day, either an insurance guy or the guy I was in the accident with, told me the lady in the car was going to the hospital. About a month later, I was found at fault. I was at college when that happened, on my parents insurance I believe, so only knew that my insurance got more expensive. My problem is this: I have been thinking about it and worrying that I killed or seriously hurt someone and never knew or realized. I have tried to search for the accident record-there is none anymore. I have tried asking my insurance company at the time-they have no record of it anymore. The police didn't have anything either. All I could find out was the date of the accident and that my copany paid $7500 to the other people for their car. I am having a REALLY hard time. I am thinking that I hurt or killed someone. I have guilt I was changing my CD. I feel like I am a terrible person and need to be punished. I feel liek I can't get past this. I am in a constant state of panic.
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Anxiety about this is too much to handle
Anxiety Support / by GlitterGirl24
Last post
 May 7th, 2017
...See more This is going to make me sound ridiculous, but I feel like I can post here and not be judged. 14 years ago, I was in a car accident. I was changing a CD, or grabbing a CD, I forget. The guy in front of me on the highway slammed on his brakes. I did too....then I switched lanes so I woudln't hit him. Then, since it was raining, my tires slipped and I ended up going BACK into the lane I was in and crossing another lane. A driver coming in that lane hit me in my door and spun me around. I was okay. I don't remember much after because I was panicked. I BELIEVE I asked if everyone in their car was okay. I don't THINK I saw ambulances. I remember my car got towed away and I rode with the tow truck guy. Later that day, either an insurance guy or the guy I was in the accident with, told me the lady in the car was going to the hospital. About a month later, I was found at fault. I was at college when that happened, on my parents insurance I believe, so only knew that my insurance got more expensive. My problem is this: I have been thinking about it and worrying that I killed or seriously hurt someone and never knew or realized. I have tried to search for the accident record-there is none anymore. I have tried asking my insurance company at the time-they have no record of it anymore. The police didn't have anything either. All I could find out was the date of the accident and that my copany paid $7500 to the other people for their car. I am having a REALLY hard time. I am thinking that I hurt or killed someone. I have guilt I was changing my CD. I feel like I am a terrible person and need to be punished. I feel liek I can't get past this. I am in a constant state of panic.
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