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GloriousJag7669
1 347 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts48 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceMarch 30, 2025
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Feeling overwhelmed
Family & Caregivers / by GloriousJag7669
Last post
 April 7th, 2025
...See more Hello, First time poster here, just wanted some support/advice for my situation. I've been married to my husband for almost 13 years and we are now a family of 6 altogether with his children from a previous relationship. We've been through ups and downs, just like any other marriage. What I've wanted to highlight is his children. He brought them over to Canada in 2014 right after my first child was born (wasn't the right timing, but I felt I've had no choice to accept his decision); as his crazy ex decided to finally give them up to my husband so that the kids could live a better life etc. I've come to accept them over the years, raised them, tried to be the parent that they needed as their mother is pretty much deadbeat. The big issue now has to do with immigration, I've helped fill out applications on behalf of the kids over the years, so that they could stay in the country. But the Canadian immigration system right now is screwed up, it takes even longer to process their permanent residency. The last update that we have is that it will take another 2 or 3 years for them to get their status. My husband is getting impatient and wants them to get their papers right away so that we can travel altogether. It's not an option for my husband to sponsor them for citizenship, as he already did and it got denied. He says the only way to speed things up is for me to legally adopt them and then sponsor them to become Canadian. Even my mother in law brought this up this past weekend, asking me to help as it's taking too long. What they don't realize is that adopting is a significant thing for me and it should be a personal choice to make. I have nothing against the kids, they're generally good kids, even if raising them was a challenge in the beginning. I'm already mentally tired over doing paperwork throughout these years. Additionally, I don't like being pressured into doing something big just because my husband/mother-in-law told me so.  Am I a bad person to think twice about this situation? I'm just so overwhelmed with these thoughts. For anyone reading this, thank you so much. Any help would be appreciated. 
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Need advice
Family & Caregivers / by GloriousJag7669
Last post
 July 8th, 2025
...See more Hello everyone, first time poster here. I just wanted input about my situation. I've been married to my husband for 13 years now. We got married after months of dating each other. Like any other other marriage, we have been through many ups and many downs. What I've wanted to highlight is about his children from his previous relationship. I've come to accept his children over the years even though I was the person who did not want someone with children back then when I was single and the fact that I had to endure whatever the crazy ex was doing to us. He brought them over to Canada from the Bahamas right after I gave birth to my first son in 2014. His ex finally told him to get the children because she could not find anyone to help look after them years after everybody in the family told her to send them to Canada to my husband, so that they could have a chance of a better life etc. Ever since they came to stay with us, I've been helping my husband to process his kids' papers so that they could stay in the country. We did not get any legal help (which now I think we should have long time ago) with their papers and now the canadian immigration is getting messier with long delays. We have to wait at least another 2 - 3 years for them to get PR status. My husband already applied for the citizenship last year but it got denied as they were not sponsored. Now, my husband is desperate for them to get citizenship because he wants to travel and he says the only way to speed things up is for me to adopt them legally because I'm canadian. My mother in law came to up yesterday and told me the same thing, help them get their citizenship ASAP. It's not like I don't want to help, adoption is a significant thing for me. I've been helping the kids with many things, I've stepped up to be their mother through all these years when their own mother is pretty much deadbeat. But I feel like it's a big thing of my husband and mother in law to ask of me and I'm not mentally prepared to go through years of processing papers when I have been through that already since 2015! I have nothing against his kids, they're good kids. Maybe because of same personal issues that I have with my husband, I'm thinking twice. On top of all that, I don't want to feel pressured to something this big. Is what I feel pretty valid or am I being just an awful person for thinking twice?
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