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GreenishBlue42o
124 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 1, 2021
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I Kiss Fire
Relationship Stress / by GreenishBlue42o
Last post
 February 3rd, 2021
...See more I really love taking risks. I love the rush if doing something I'm not supposed to. In every aspect of my life. Relationships take no backseat in this matter. Guys are like rollercoasters to me. I am currently standing alone in the middle of my ThemePark. I find myself having to choose between to very dangerous looking rollercoasters. I should turn around and go find the swings... they're always fun. I seldom take my good advice though. No excitement in that. One of the rollercoasters has beautiful blue eyes and tattoos every where. Strong and muscular. I can climb him like a tree. Sounds amazing, right?? Oh, I forgot to mention that he's a line cook with a bit of a substance abuse problem. The other roller coaster is tall dark and handsome. This guy could have stepped out of a damn magazine. Mysterious brown eyes. Abs For days. Smarter than any man I've ever met. Has a chemistry set in his living room. What does he do for a living?? Oh ya know, just designs and makes explosives, legit not terrorist. Have you ever had a first date where you got to blow shit up??? Exhilarating. So what's the catch??? Well, wouldn't you know it but he also has a substance abuse problem. I decided to put the blue rollercoaster in my house. Now the brown rollercoaster is begging me to ride him to Oregon and how can you say no??? What do I do???
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I Think I'm Afraid of Being Single
Anxiety Support / by GreenishBlue42o
Last post
 February 3rd, 2021
...See more I seem to keep finding myself in toxic and unhealthy relationships. They last years. I won't let go. Even when my life is on the line. I am so afraid of being single and alone that I will blatantly ignore red Flags. I tolerate abuse. Mental, emotional, physical, and sexual. I finally get myself out of the abuse. Feel proud of myself. Happy to be out from underneath his thumb and most importantly his fists. That doesn't last long though. I'll take the abuser back or I'll go and find a new abuser. I ignore all red flags. I jump into situations that I know are toxic and unhealthy. I see the warning signs. I know it's not going to end well but I ignore it. Because the panic and anxiety of ending up single and alone physically hurts my heart. I spend my days and nights bawling in bed. Unable to motivate myself to do anything else. I would literally rather die than be alone and single.
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