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ILoveMyCatButtons
203 M Embraced 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceMay 28, 2019
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Breakup due to mental illness
Relationship Stress / by ILoveMyCatButtons
Last post
 June 13th, 2020
...See more I'm still struggling so much with the breakup I'm doing through. We were together 7 months, and have been split for about a month now. I broke things off because I realized I am very codependent, and don't love myself. I have a lot of trauma and illness to work through and being in a relationship was too much for me to handle. I feel like I'm drowning constantly. I love him so much though and I wish we could just be together. He wants to be together now, but I feel like everyone deserves to be with someone who loves themselves as much as they love their partner-- and I just have such a lack of self love. I don't even know who I am. I wish I was a better person than I am and could be stronger than I am. I feel like I've betrayed him and have messed up so bad. To know that he has been hurt because of me is almost too much to handle. I just need to love myself but it's so hard. I wish I could be the amazing girl I know he deserves. I just want to be happy, but I know that happiness comes from within. I feel like I have this mountain to overcome ahead of me, and feeling the pain of heartbreak and not being able to be a good partner just feels so defeating. I betrayed him and I feel like I'll never be able to forgive myself. I'm just so tired of feeling this pain. He's the most amazing man I have ever met, but I pushed him away. I just feel devastated.
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A Difficult Breakup
Relationship Stress / by ILoveMyCatButtons
Last post
 March 23rd, 2020
...See more Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months. He is such an amazing person, with a heart of gold. I love him deeply and my heart is broken. He was nothing but loving a supportive of me throughout our relationship, and I hope I showed him the same because I care for him so much. I believe we had a healthy relationship--good communication and support. Unfortunately, I've recently struggled with a lot of inner turmoil, confusion and pain--my mental health has been severely struggling. Ive even been questioning my sexuality. The past few times we've hung out I just couldn't squash the emotions and struggles I've been feeling. I consistently cried whenever we were together, which I felt horrible about even though he reassured me it was okay. When we should have been having a nice time, I was in my head--dissociating and trying to hold back tears from unknown reasons. This is the first time I have ever had to breakup with someone, and I feel like an evil person because I know how much pain and suffering that is caused from heartbreak. I shouldnt have gotten into a relationship before taking time to myself, and getting help, and now Im facing the consequences. I love him so much, but I need help, and I don't feel strong enough to be in a relationship right now. I hate that I hurt him, and I wish I could be with him and everything would be okay, but I think I really just need to seek help. I wish I could take all of his pain right now.
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