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Icouldbebetter8923
1 681 M Embraced 5
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts57 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceFebruary 20, 2022
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Any tips on how to unlearn conditional love?
Self-Esteem / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 February 10th
...See more Growing up in a home where love is conditional is having lasting effects on me as I navigate through life and relationships. I make myself over available to others disposal with the sole purpose of making their life easier, at the expense of myself. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being there for others but that it’s rarely reciprocated. I feel like a chameleon changing to fit every other person in front of me. Becoming exactly what they need, helpful, caring, kind, loving, angry etc. I feel like I have erased myself entirely to become everyone else’s person. My parents taught me to always do what they told and that I have a responsibility to follow their rules. To always give everything without the expectation of ever receiving anything back and that’s what love is. I can understand that this thinking of conditional love is flawed, but I can’t seem to break my habits. I don’t know how to receive. I can’t except it when someone does anything nice for me because I feel like I didn’t do anything to deserve their kindness. Even though I go out of my way to do nice things for other the idea of anyone doing anything nice for me is beyond something I can grasp. I have never been in a relationship because i am so deeply insecure that i am not enough. I have never made it though a single talking stage and i just don’t know how to do. I am not saying this for pity or the need for someone to validate how i feel. I genuinely want to learn how to stop doing this. I want nothing more than to be young and in love. To love someone wholeheartedly because of the person they are and not because I need to feel accepted. I want to know myself and be okay with being loved without feeling like I need to earn being loved. Anyone have any advice? 😭
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How do I stop feeling numb?
General Support / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 April 28th, 2025
...See more I have been struggling a lot this year. It felt like I was going through a constant battle where it was one thing after another. I wanted to really connect with my faith this year but I have been so numb I haven’t had it in me to pray at all. I feel so disconnected with everything. The problem is I shouldn’t feel this way. I got through everything life threw at me without falling into a dark hole. I tried to stay positive through everything. The past few weeks have been really good. I got a job and I am doing well in school. Nothing bad is happening so why do I feel so disconnected and numb? I don’t want to feel this way and nothing I do is helping me feel better.
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Feeling a little numb
Depression Support / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 March 29th, 2025
...See more I have been having a really rough year. It seemed like I was going through a crisis every other week. Every time I went through something horrible I would take a week to recover only for something else to happen in the next week. My emotions have been on a roller coaster. I tried really hard to not Feel sad and be positive. I didn’t want to get sucked into a dark hole. It honestly worked things have been good. I got a new job. I’m doing well in school. with everything that went down I have been doing really well recently, but I’ve been feeling so incredibly burnt out. I need to be grateful that I’m not going through some crisis. God has blessed me so much with new opportunities but I have been feeling so numb. I am starting to feel unmotivated and sad for no reason. My faith feels so distant. There is no reason to feel this way so I don’t understand why I am feeling like this. I should be happy but I am not. What’s happening?
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Feeling lost
Religion & Spirituality / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 December 2nd, 2024
...See more I feel like I am stuck in life. Everyone is moving and doing amazing things in life and I am so lost. I want to trust god that he has a plan for me but I just don’t know. I don’t know if the life I am leading is mine. I am not the greatest Christian. I am not disciplined and pick and choose when being a Christian is convenient to me. how do I change? How do I stay disciplined and devoted to god? I feel like I have been waiting to hear god in my life. To hear him tell me what I need to do in life. What path to follow. I should trust god but why do I feel so lost and empty. I keep telling myself that god is the answer and that if I become a good Christian he will answer all my prayers. But I have been failing. I feel like I am disappointing god and that’s why I can’t see him in my life. I don’t blame him though. I haven’t been a good daughter to him so why would he show up? Why would he answer my prayers or give me peace? im sorry
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I am the problem
Self-Esteem / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 December 2nd, 2024
...See more Hi i don’t know how to love myself. I grew up with an “almond mom” I love her to death but she is a kind of person who responds to fear with anger. Ik she loves me and wants the best for me but that seems to justify her treating me poorly. I was a chubby kid and for as long as I can remember I was conscious of my weight. My mom always told me that no one would love me when I look like this. To her she was motivating me to loose weight but that really *** me up. I am so insecure and truly believe I am unloveable in this body. At 21 I have never been in a relationship, never been in a situationship, never been kissed, held hands or even seriously talked to a guy. It’s not that I have never been approached or hit on by guys, that’s not the issue. The issue is my immediate reaction to a guy showing interest in me is pure disgust. My disgust is not directed at the guy but for the guy for finding someone like me attractive. I don’t know what to do because I want to feel loved too. Ik nothing is ever going to change unless I work on myself but how? Ik I should probably try therapy but I just wanna know if anyone has felt like this and how they moved on.
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How do I build up self confidence?
Self-Esteem / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 June 9th, 2024
...See more I have always been aware of my weight since I was heavier than my sister. I love my mom but she is the reason I hate my body. As a kid I always thought that I was the fattest girl alive but looking back at old photos I don’t think I was fat at all. Ridiculously the other week my mom showed me a picture of myself from a few years ago and told my how skinny I looked and to “go back to that weight” a time in my life where she told me how much prettier I would be if i just lost weight. There has never been a time in my life where I was happy in my body. I want to be confident, don’t want to feel the ugliest when I am out with the girls. I am used to being the girl no one notices. I am 20 and have never dated anyone simply because I don’t think anyone can live me in this body. How do I learn to love myself? I keep telling myself that all I need to do is loose weight but I am so miserable with myself. I am afraid no one will ever find me attractive and that I am just meant to be alone.
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I realize I only come on this app at my lowest
Depression Support / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 May 19th, 2023
...See more Every time I have come on here, I have been at my lowest. I have been relatively good for the past year. So much so I forgot this place existed. With the way I clung onto this platform last year even I am surprised to admit that. Today was rough but all I want to say is I really appreciate this place, and all the people on here that dedicate their time to helping someone else out at their lowest. I can’t count the number of nights I spent bawling my eyes out writing a post because this was the only way I could express my emotions out aloud. I used to hate myself for coming on here because it reminded me that the only reason I was here is because I didn’t have the guts to talk about my problems and reach out to the people around me. I couldn’t admit that I was going through a hard time and really needed help. But this platform saved me. If I never came on here I would have never reached out at all, and I would still be suffering in silence. This was the first step in me healing my wounds. Not only have I been seeing a therapist, any time I need help I can actually admit it out loud and am able go into the arms of friends and family without the overwhelming feeling of being a burden. I think that’s why I don’t come here as much anymore. Thank you to everyone on here for being amazing helping me through the darkest point of my life. Anytime I feel alone I am comforted by the fact that this place exists. Thank you for allowing me to express myself without feeling like a burden. I am a better person today because of it. 💕
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I am on the verge of a panic attack
Anxiety Support / by Icouldbebetter8923
Last post
 December 1st, 2022
...See more It has been a really long month for me. And I have somehow managed to get myself in the middle on a really messy situation. I Have spent all morning having really bad anxiety. I am an over thinker and I am overthinking myself into a panic attack. I keep counting things and blowing candles in my head to keep calm but the second I am calm, I am overthinking again. I hate this feeling in my chest, in my hands, how the tightness is crawling up my throat. I keep trying to distract myself but it’s hard when the problem is in my head. I need to get out of my head.
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