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Island562
357 M Embraced 3
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceAugust 26, 2019
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Lack of sex life
Relationship Stress / by Island562
Last post
 July 24th, 2020
...See more I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now, we live together and are faithful to each other. At first everything was great and we had sex often. Now, it's so infrequent I honestly can't remember the last time we had sex. It makes me sad, angry, and confused because it's not me that doesn't want it. My boyfriend will always have some excuse like he's tired or just "later" but later never comes unless I bug him about it enough. When we do have sex it's usually one of those quick, passionless things that's like 5 mins. He says he does want to have sex but then rejects me every time. I'm getting really tired of only his needs being important. I don't ask for a lot, and I just want to have sex more than maybe twice a month. I don't know what to do about it because it's kinda messing with my self esteem.
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Not sure how to help
Relationship Stress / by Island562
Last post
 October 23rd, 2019
...See more I started dating my boyfriend about 4 years ago. We'd known each other for a while and it just kind of happened by accident. A few months before this, the girl he had been dating on and off was killed in a boating accident just in front of his house. She was a wonderful person and her loss was devastating for our small community. I should have known that he was emotionally unavailable at the time but I was struggling with a break up of my own and the loss of a friend and we just sort of leaned on each other. Most of our friends were unsupportive and extremely hard on me, acting as if he wasn't a part of this equation, and I was to blame. Like I said, we just kind of fell into it unintentionally. I was the scapegoat for everyone that was hurting. For me, it was a really difficult situation in a difficult time. I can't even imagine how difficult it must have been and still is for my boyfriend but it seemed like he never really understood that I was in a hard place too. Losing friends for any reason is not easy. There were times when my emotions got the better of me and I said things that weren't fair or to be honest, nice. I am aware of this and more than sorry, which I've told him many times. But there is still an air of resentment I feel from him. I just don't know how to help him heal. Or how to begin repairing the obvious damage I created. I love this guy so much and we've been through so much together, I just want him to be able to find some closure and peace with the situation if that is what he needs. He really doesn't let me in emotionally, so I don't even know how he feels about it all. It's all very confusing and creating a space between us.
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