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Ivictoria88
142 M Embraced 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceMay 12, 2022
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How do I save to buy a home when all our money goes on rent..
General Support / by Ivictoria88
Last post
 June 4th, 2022
...See more Unsure if this is the right place but honestly I am getting so incredibly depressed and down over this situation. Partly because I see other people who don't earn as much money who have cars and kids and they all manage to live better than us.. And buy a home.. Or two! So firstly let me say I'm disabled and sick. I'm unable to work. But my man earns a really good wage (double national minimum and then some). I opened an Etsy shop to sell the jewellery I make when I'm well enough to. But all our money goes on rent, council tax, utility bills, bills and food. So I looked online and it says to cut out splurging - BUT we don't go out, we don't really do anything, my craft supplies I've had for years / use Etsy money to buy. And then we have a few subscriptions (Netflix, Disney and Amazon Prime). So unless we absolutely want to just sit and twiddle our thumbs so we can save £27 a month. So we cut back on food... We are not eating well.. Eating only one meal a day... And managed to save £50 on our food bill which is just as well as our utilities have just gone up by £80. We don't have a car or children.. We live in a tiny 1 bed place have looked at other rentals but they're actually more expensive now because of covid and everything. Due to UK situation you're not currently able to switch utility suppliers so we are stuck with them and us paying rediculous money. Our home is moldy, damp, damaged and not fit for purpose but our landlord is STILL using covid as an excuse and the government and council suggest if we're not happy then move - with what money?? I genuinely don't know what to do. He can't work over time at his job its not a thing. And because of what he does he's legally not allowed to get a second job. And if he looked for a different job it would be even less money..... And I'm not well enough to work, I tried and ended up in hospital inside a week. I simply break even or make a loss one month and a profit the next with my Etsy. I genuinely see people make utter shit that sells for more money. I feel penalised for being in the UK. But if I pack it in I'm definitely no better off it just gives me more time to get more depressed over this rediculous situation. We have looked at our finances and at best we can save maybe £60 a month which means it will take us 100 months (8.3 years) to save. And that is the deposit for a mortgage, fees etc etc as currently stands not removals or boxes which BTW are another 2k so 10years? I see other people, single people who earn minimum wage manage to buy houses just like that while also paying for a car and kids and designer stuff and always down the pub. I don't understand how they do it.. The Internet suggests as move in with a parent or friend. Basically we have his dad. And what we save on rent we will have to pay in storage for all our stuff. And what we save on utilities and bills and council tax we will have to give him for the increased costs he will incur not to mention my man will have to pay crazy money for transport as his dad lives 2 hours from his work. So we will possibly be worse off. I don't wona get rid of all our stuff (inc precious memories and furniture which is worth nothing but was inherited with memories attached. and stuff we previously saved for, worked for, obtained.. Which to sell we would get pennies but in sentimental value we couldn't replace.. And everything else is worthless junk..) and if we do get rid of our stuff to buy a house we then have a house and nothing for in it.. So how how do we save?? Stop eating entirely? Refuse to pay our rent and get kicked out?? Rob a bank?? Wait 30+ years for his dad to pass and hope after his 5 brothers and sisters and aunt that maybe he gets something.... There's just no real options. I've never wanted kids or holidays or a flash life style the only thing I (we) have ever wanted is our own home. Am I missing something here?????? TIA
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How do I make actual friends when I'm too anxious (and disabled) to leave my house?
Anxiety Support / by Ivictoria88
Last post
 May 17th, 2022
...See more I want friends. Every time I try either they don't understand my health issues and lose patience with me. Or they use me for what they can and then ditch me. Same story for 15 years be it a week, a month or a year every time I get close to someone they use me, abuse me and ditch me. Or they just don't understand what it's like living with a chronic illness.. Don't understand why I don't want to go out / sometimes not well enough others it's an anxiety thing. I don't know how to make friends or meet people.. Advice?! - I'm 33 BTW x IV
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