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JackalopesExist
9 19,891 M Progress Road 9
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts756 Forum posts67 Forum upvotes140 Current upvotes140 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceDecember 15, 2017
Bio

Nothing matters when the pain is all but gone
When you are finally awake
Despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came🖤

Late 20's / Located in USA / They/them pronouns preferred

Hi. I've been on this site for a while and am glad to have it as a little corner of the Internet when I need to work through my mental health and life dilemmas. Thanks to all the listeners who have been sources of positivity, kindness, and good company for me even if we only crossed paths for a short time! I'm working towards a more hopeful tomorrow, one small step at a time.

Adult listeners/private chats only because I have some very adult problems. Please be aware I have autism, ADHD, and OCD. This can affect the ways I communicate, and also the perspective I bring to conversations about events in my life and others' lives. I'm pretty open about all of these things and don't mind going into detail as long as someone's patient with me though. 




Recent forum posts
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"The difference between you and me." (cw for existentialism and implied -phobia i guess)
Journals & Diaries / by JackalopesExist
Last post
 April 5th
...See more Reflecting on a personal relationship in my life... You say you want to do everything right and be prepared financially with investments and contingency plans, just in case you ever become incapacitated. I try to live life to the fullest and have as many fulfilling experiences as I can, even if others don't understand it, just in case I ever become incapacitated. I've seen too much. I learned the hard way that you can do everything "right" and still lose the things that matter most for reasons no one can predict or control. We are not the same.  You say people can't change who they are. We're all as God made us. We have to learn to live with what we have and make the most of it even if it's not what we wanted in life. I say if there is a higher power, then they gave us the free will to exist freely, to problem solve, to evolve, to experiment. Why else would any of that even be an option if not for us to explore? Things don't have to be so rigid. I wonder if it's because you've been told "no" too many times, or maybe it's because of the hand you've been dealt yourself, but instead of pushing back, you chose to become the enforcer. What a shame. There's things I wonder about but I don't feel like I can ask. And yet... You saw me do something kind of like that, not too long ago. You didn't know that's what it actually was underneath the surface, sure, but you were supportive and I saw something in your eyes. Genuine curiosity, or something more? If I could break through and ask this without overstepping, When will you start actually living for yourself?
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This year I'm going to be a better friend.
Friendship Support / by JackalopesExist
Last post
 January 8th
...See more In our society we hear a lot of phrases like "protect your peace" and "don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm." And I agree sometimes! I spent my early adulthood getting beat down by life. Old friends outgrew me or became distant. I struggled to make new friends because there were so many social rules everybody else seemed to magically learn at 18 that I didn't pick up, plus the general flakiness of young adults. Family problems broke the facade of my parents and other relatives being invincible, infallible beings. This all caused me to withdraw and avoid engaging with others for fear of getting hurt, rejected, or having to clean up messes I didn't want to be involved in. I stopped reaching out. I stopped being the therapist friend. I stopped participating in holidays. I "protected my peace." But it's a lonely existence, living that way.  It served its purpose for that time in my life but I've healed enough to not need isolation and withdrawal as coping mechanisms anymore. I have a renewed sense of optimism towards building community and putting kindness into the world. It has only gotten better in the past couple years because I finally found a friend group I vibe with who have proven over and over that they mean what they say and are kind, dependable, and honest. They have made me feel seen and understood in ways I can't describe and we do so much to support and uplift each other. I'm lucky to have them. But now I want to do more and finally put good energy out into the world again outside of this little circle. It's taken a while for me to feel like it's worth making those efforts for anyone else again but I think I'm finally ready. In the past few weeks I've... - Given my coworkers nice Christmas gifts (I hardly gift anyone anymore so this was a big deal for me). - Wrote a very overdue holiday letter to a close friend that I should have sent a long time ago and life/mental health stopped me from doing that but better late than never, and they were glad to receive it all the same. - Will be attending a baby shower - even though I was hesitant because I don't care for babies 😂 and because it's sort of far from home at a time slot I normally use as my "rest and recharge" hours - for acquaintances who have been kind to me in our interactions and I genuinely want to get to know them better and show that I care. This is just the beginning. I want to accomplish more at a pace I feel comfortable going at and not overextending myself. Time will tell but I feel alright about how things are right now. Thanks for reading this. If you've made it this far, what steps are you taking to be a better friend and/or building a sense of community this year?
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