Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
JulesMira
1 196 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceAugust 17, 2022
Bio
Recent forum posts
JulesMira profile picture
A very long toxic relationship
Relationship Stress / by JulesMira
Last post
 September 11th, 2022
...See more Hello everyone, Just wanted to get this off my chest. I've been with my fiance for 7 years now. And I don't exactly feel safe around him anymore. Throughout the years, he has abused me whenever he is black-out intoxicated. He has a drinking problem, and recovered from a drug problem 4 years ago. But even still, like once a month or two, he would get black-out drunk, get mad at me for something so minimal, pin me down on the bed and choke me. The last time he hit me repeatedly with a pillow just because I wanted to change the song on the radio. Lately, for the past couple weeks, things have been calm. He did quit drinking and is trying to go to AA on his time off. But with how things have been repeating in a circle, I'm afraid that one day he is going to snap again. I've already thought about leaving him but first I want to make sure I can secure a place that I can afford, and a roommate. I HAVE talked to my fiance about his issues and his response was "I am trying, I'm trying the best I can. Now I feel this isn't enough". I should have read the signs in the beginning but I was blinded by love. And even still, I do love him.....I just don't feel safe with him. And I am having such a hard time to be strong and overcome my feelings and just be happy for even trying to work on improving my life and doing the right thing.
JulesMira profile picture
Can't gather my feelings
Relationship Stress / by JulesMira
Last post
 August 31st, 2022
...See more I've been with my fiance for about 7 years, lived together for 5, and have a cat together. When him and I started dating, we use to like similiar music and had some things in common. Now we kind of grew to liking separate things and different subcultures. And always stressed out about keeping a roof over our heads and trying to make a living. We aren't really so intimate anymore because....well.....1. it's always hot and sweaty in the apartment and cuddling doesn't help lol and 2. He sometimes acts kind of childish like he jumps my leg as a joke which I no longer find it cute or funny, just annoying. I also have a best friend, who I've been friends for over a year now, that I started to develop real feelings for. At first I thought it was attraction, but lately it's been those "what if's thoughts and wondering what life would be like with him rather than my fiance. Him and I have alot more in common than anyone I know. But my red flags are, 1. He's allergic to cats (I'm not giving up my cat) and 2. He relies too much on his parents and 3. His parents DESPISE him meeting people he meets online. But I still have strong feelings for him. Am I stressing over nothing? Is this normal? I still love my fiance, even though things have gotten stale.
Search more from @JulesMira
Talk to an expert therapist
Smita is very kind and listens carefully. She has a calming aura and I am very...
Reviewed Aug 9, 2026
Talk to Smita Now
Badges & Awards
7 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat First Post Reaching out First Compassion Forum Friend
Report an issue