JustaDude2022 Member Profile

...See more I've been dating my gf for over a year now and things have started getting serious (meeting the kids, saying "I love you, etc). As they have gotten serious, I've been bringing up some concerns I've only recently realized I've had. For instance, her social media activity/posting never bothered me before (throughout casual dating). I've noticed that now I am bothered by her SM usage. She is a beautiful girl and I consider some of her selfies (pics/vids) to be provocative in nature. Nothing too bad (a little cleavage and sexy body language). We almost broke up over it, but we talked it out. She claimed that she doesn't do it for external male attention and doesn't respond to any of the advances she receives. She says she does it for herself to kind of scrapbook herself when she likes how she looks... I heard her out and we moved on, but after a few days I noticed it still bothered me. I proceeded to explain to her that, "I trust you and am not saying that you are intentionally seeking this male attention. However, posting content like that invites that type of attention and it bothers me." She objected that she doesn't consider her posts to be provocative, and that's where we hit a wall. I contended that, I believe she knows the difference between posting a "cute" pic and posting something that promotes her being "sexy." She is hot and I know that she will always get male attention, but my quarrel is with posting content that encourages even more (thirsty) male attention. We parked the conversation there for the time being. Things have been a bit awkward since (a few days ago). She is definitely not happy about it, but I explained to her that I'm not telling her what to do either. Just communicating that it bothers me. I think the age gap might play a part (I'm 6yrs older). Not too big a difference number wise, but in terms of the generational difference it's substantial (I'm Gen X and she's a Millennial). I'm barely on social media and she is pretty active among several different apps (fb/***/snap chat/***). Often I feel as though she cares more about her social media activity than our relationship. I'm afraid in the process of communicating all of this I might've come across as needy and might be ruining the relationship. So, that's the sum of it. I just am not sure whether or not I'm: A. Doing the right thing by communicating my concerns ^^I'm in the right and perhaps she isnt a good match B. Being controlling/jealous and ruining my relationship ^^I need to work on my own insecurities and not ruin a potentially good thing.

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

🌈 Lisa Meighan is a psychotherapist registered with the British...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio