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KPN28
2 3,493 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts220 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes27 Current upvotes27 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceAugust 4, 2025
Bio

Learn,unlearn,relearn

Recent forum posts
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ADHD test
ADHD Support / by KPN28
Last post
 September 10th
...See more Can anyone suggest a legit adhd test online.I can't afford to go to a psychologist/psychiatrist rn 🥲
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Emotional unavailability
Depression Support / by KPN28
Last post
 August 4th
...See more I don't know if I'm overreacting, but this really triggered me. I've been diagnosed with depression, I've had multiple panic attacks and I'm anxious almost all the time. Therapy isn't something I can afford, so I've just been dealing with everything on my own. My boyfriend has never really understood mental health-he usually says things like "just be positive," and I often feel like he ignores how I'm feeling. Recently, his female friend(he has seen her facing a panic attack)started taking therapy and he asked me if he should check in on her.He has seen me cry like anything facing panic attack while he was on call,he has never supported me at such stages. But I actually told him yes because she deserves support. But then I reminded him that I was also diagnosed with depression, and he replied, "Her case is different, she's taking therapy." That honestly hurt so much. It made me feel like my struggles only matter if I'm in therapy, even though I've been silently suffering for so long. I feel like he's never been emotionally available for me and I'm starting to realise we're probably not right for each other. The sad part is that I know it, but I still can't bring myself to end the relationship.
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Help
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by KPN28
Last post
 July 14th
...See more I think I'm showing signs of BPD but I don't have access to medical care.Suggest some free tests to find it out and to get help.Please!
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Hope
Anxiety Support / by KPN28
Last post
 July 14th
...See more My chest feels heavy, my legs tremble, and my tears fall silently because I don’t even know how to ask for the care I need. I kept waiting for it from the person I’ve loved for so long -not someone who doesn’t love me, but someone who never knew how to reach me when I needed them the most. I never asked for perfect words or grand gestures. I only wanted a hug, a gentle “I’m here,” a hand holding mine until my heart felt safe again. But after waiting for so long, I’m tired. I’m slowly losing hope of being cared for in the way my heart understands. So I hold my pillow close and imagine the comfort I’ve been craving,a soft touch, a forehead kiss, a voice whispering, “You’re not too much. Your feelings are valid. I’m not leaving.” And I try to give myself the love I kept waiting to receive.
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What should I do
Depression Support / by KPN28
Last post
 June 16th
...See more What am I even supposed to do? My boyfriend of 8 years ended things with me. The problem was always that he never really knew how to console me when I was sad, and I gave him so many chances over the years. Now he's saying he can't keep hurting me and that leaving is the best thing to do. What I don't understand is how he thinks I'll be okay if he leaves. Is it really right for him to just decide that on his own? When I ask him, "Then why did I stay all these years?" he just says, "I didn't force you to stay." That line honestly breaks my heart every time. Part of me wonders if I should just go back and ignore this problem because I love him, but another part of me feels like I've already been doing that for years. I'm so confused.
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What should I do?
Relationship Stress / by KPN28
Last post
 June 15th
...See more What am I even supposed to do? My boyfriend of 8 years ended things with me. The problem was always that he never really knew how to console me when I was sad, and I gave him so many chances over the years. Now he's saying he can't keep hurting me and that leaving is the best thing to do. What I don't understand is how he thinks I'll be okay if he leaves. Is it really right for him to just decide that on his own? When I ask him, "Then why did I stay all these years?" he just says, "I didn't force you to stay." That line honestly breaks my heart every time. Part of me wonders if I should just go back and ignore this problem because I love him, but another part of me feels like I've already been doing that for years. I'm so confused.
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losing a friend who was once like a sister.
Friendship Support / by KPN28
Last post
 August 6th, 2025
...See more I met her when I was 14. She was the kindest, warmest friend I had. Before me, she had another close friend she distanced from without any clear reason. Then she chose me. I felt special. I treated her like my sister. We were close for years. We had mutual friends. Memories. Growth. Then, three years ago, we lost one of our closest friends in an accident. It shattered me. I had to go for counselling. But she seemed okay at first. I didn’t want to drag her into my grief.I thought maybe she’d get more hurt if I kept bringing it up. So I gave her space. But after months, she started ghosting me. No explanation. No fight. Just silence. I reached out. Many times. Went to her house. She made excuses not to meet. I had no idea what I did wrong. Just silence and distance. And it hurt. A year ago, I texted her: “I miss you. If I did anything wrong, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” She replied: “You weren’t there for me when I needed you. But I also didn’t reach out to you.” So she ghosted me but still blamed me. She never communicated she was grieving too. And now, she’s cut me off saying I wasn’t there. Truth is, I was also breaking. I didn’t go to her because I didn’t want to trigger her grief. I thought I was protecting her. Turns out, it made her feel abandoned. Now she’s a stranger. It still hits me in waves. I get panic attacks. I struggle to get close to people because I’m scared they’ll leave too. Like she did. If you’ve ever lost a friend who meant everything to you, I see you. Sometimes closure never comes. Sometimes people leave without telling you why. And it hurts. Deep. I’m healing. But the fear of being left behind still lingers. I hope one day, this won’t haunt me the way it does now.
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