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LadyInSilence
138 74,169 M Big Steps 6
PathStep 167 Compassion hearts2,126 Forum posts692 Forum upvotes1,265 Current upvotes1,265 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceJuly 18, 2017
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Some things are better left unsaid. 



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Gestures
General Support / by LadyInSilence
Last post
 April 26th
...See more I’m getting the habit of doing this and it seems to make feel good when I post to you all. I wanted to just vent out about this. Gestures. Kind loving caring heartfelt gestures. Guess what?! They make me sad. Something hurts me inside when anyone does that. I guess I’m not used to having someone or people giving me or showing me love. I lived a life where I gave it my all and got accustomed to not receiving. I never understood why it was hard to reciprocate back but I managed to go around it. Now I stopped giving but only to those worth giving. A word of gratitude was just enough for me not to resent them for not being able to give back. Back to gestures, I guess its normal that I feel this way since it wasn’t something normal in my life but it feels quite deep. It makes me want to run away from that person. Sometimes it feels that they actually felt that I needed to hear it or wanted it. I never came across as desperate for affection. Maybe I am?! They did this to me. Even the smallest thing like “ would you like a biscuit?” could feel heavy. 45 is hitting me hard to be frank. I’m feeling peaceful most of the time (content to be exact) and then it hits hard a second later. How am I ever going to give anyone a chance when I can’t let small gestures fill me with joy?! Is it the fear of abandonment? is it the fear of attachment? Tell me what do you think? I know there are other more important stuff in our lives to think about and this might seem immature but its been bothering me the past few days. You guys are my “ go to” pour things out. Thank you for even considering to read it and managed to get to the end of it. Truly appreciate it.
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Healing
35 & Over Community / by LadyInSilence
Last post
 April 25th
...See more This is my first post here. Please be kind 😊 I wanted to share my poem. Please tell me your interpretation and your point of view. Do you relate? —————- finally, the horizon has doors open wide exploring the meaning of living at all sides smiling with promises and not trying to hide the joy that appears in the face of a broken tide expanding their hands to hug you with pride slipping into the beauty of a massive slide that will light up a heart that was once blind. ——— May you all heal in the time and pace you feel you need. May you heal in the time you are ready to heal. May you heal and be the best version of yourself. Amen
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