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LearningFriendship
434 M Embraced 3
PathStep 48 Compassion hearts55 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 10, 2022
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6 month "deadline" is coming
Relationship Stress / by LearningFriendship
Last post
 February 25th, 2022
...See more My friendships usually never last more than 6 months no matter how hard I try. The 6 months is coming up for a good friend of mine but I feel its already starting to happen. For a little context Im extremely good at reading people and I can tell when things are off around 85% of the time. When we hangout he seems slightly out of it (but still hangs out / occasionally makes effort like me) and if theres other people he focuses mostly on them. Hes also not so open with me anymore. I always let my friends know I got their back and always willing to lend an ear so I really hope it isnt me. Another one of my friends approaching that mark too and I can feel the distance forming too. I just dont understand wht this happens...My birthdays also in a few days (28th) and thats scary for me too as I dont know whats gonna happen with my friends and I. Im just lost and a little scared. How do I know if they still want to be my friend? Why are people feeling distant at the 6 month mark and fade away? Is a good friend for a long period of time just unobtainable for me? Any advice or awnsers will be greatly appreciated. This is my first bout with healthy friendships and I just want things to finally work out for me...ive waited long enough. If you need more info to help get a better feel for things ill gladly awnser within reason.
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Lonliness
Relationship Stress / by LearningFriendship
Last post
 September 17th, 2023
...See more I have been disliked since the first grade. My peers never wanted to hang around me and would socially bully me. In the 4th grade i asked my parents why no one liked me and was told that it was because i didnt put enough effort in. I was asking people the hangout almost every day at the time. So i started begging. If i wanted to stop my parents voice would ring in my head. They found out about the begging and stopped it early. In the 6th grade was where the lonliness really hit. My then bestfriend (to me she was my best friend but i was just a toy or something to her) at the time had a birthday party and called me ugly in the bathroom. After that and a few other things i ended our "friendship" and i was completely alone with no one. People wouldnt even look at me sometimes. At one point it got so bad that i praywd for a friend. I had a dream that night of a girl named "shirley" and she was the ideal friend. Nice, loyal, funny, listened just great. I thought it meant i was gonna get a friend soon. Waited 3 months and nothing. After I became a husk of a human as lonliness ate at me. I was a husk of a human supressing who i was so it wouldnt be destroyed by my pain turning me bitter and angry and mean (i will admit i was close thats why i shut down). In 8th grade my feild trip partner planned to abandon me at canadas wonderland to go with her friends even though i put so much effort into being her friend. Things got better in highschool but i still didnt really know what good friends were. Highschool friends certainly better tenfold but they didnt really seem to care in the end. Made a game and no one played it after they said they would, they also ditched our "prom night" plans we made years in advance just little things that turn big. I'm now in uni and my friendships seem to be healthy. It's weird and I don't know how to handle it most of the time. They say im a good friend and a nice person and other really nice things ive never had a friend tell me but i struggle to believe them sometimes (my bad days). Remember shirley? Well since grade 6 ive pledged to be like her as she never existed and is a good friend to work twords. Since then being shirley is my goal. Im getting close i just have to get the courage to initiate hangouts and i really struggle with pushing past anxiety and past emotions. It also snowballs cuz if i make 1 little friend mistake it piles on the "cant initiate" thought and consumes me. In the end im scared to loose everything again. Thanks for reading any advice, encouragement just anthing is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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