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Livalathia
265 M Embraced 2
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 17, 2014
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Just really gotta get this out
Relationship Stress / by Livalathia
Last post
 May 5th, 2015
...See more So I was dating my ex boyfriend for a year and 7 months, and honestly he is the love of my life. I have never felt more complete than when I was with him and I never feel like my day is complete now - and my heart feels like it's incomplete.  The break up was what he wanted and I still love him despite the fact that he has broken my heart into a million pieces. The thing that has gotten to me now, after a month of finally getting to the point where I was okay is finding out that not even two weeks after he broke up with me - he got a prom date. Now - he told me he didn't break up with me because of another girl but to be honest I don't know what to believe.  It's like a huge slap in the face knowing that hes going to prom with someone - and he didn't even wait to ask someone. So now I am wondering if I meant anything at all to him. I know I would never have done this - regardless - I would have went alone out of respect for the person I spent a year with. But I guess I don't mean much at all to him anymore.  I am honestly so frustrated because I really hate this. I don't like being in love with someone who literally doesn't seem to care about me at all anymore.  I actually really want to go to his house and make him talk to me because he refuses to listen and I feel like he literally just slapped me across the face so hard. My friend here at college even said I should go make him listen because this is so stupid. I don't know if it's just me over reacting but honestly would anyone else be upset? I would like to know. But yeah I am just literally so frustrated. I don't even know if I can trust him anymore.  
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What I didn't think would happen - happened
Relationship Stress / by Livalathia
Last post
 April 3rd, 2015
...See more This happened yesterday, but I wasn't really able to function much yesterday. Today isn't much better but I am at least trying to get it all out even though it's hardly helping.  So..I was with my boyfriend for 1 year and 7 months as of yesterday. I thought we were doing good, maybe a little distant since I was at college but I didn't think it was anything that we couldn't fix. We were talking fine up until last week and he suddenly felt distant. I just thought maybe something was going on, and boy was I wrong.  He broke up with my yesterday - on our anniversary over the phone. Saying he just couldn't be in a relationship anymore because he just needed to focus on his school work because he hasn't been doing well, and that he wasn't happy as of late in the relationship.  I understand, sort of,  but part of me thinks it was mainly my fault. I was always down because I am miserable at college and I wasn't really helping him emotionally and now I just am beating myself up because I lost the one guy I really love. No he isn't my first boyfriend I had two others and I never felt this way about them. This hurts a lot. I often thought about our future and he did too. We talked about the future not even 3 weeks before this whole deal.  So as you can guess I am really broken right now. He was one of the only people who could make me really smile and mean it. He saved me so many times and I really do love him.  He said he still cares about me and he wants to be there for me - and I want him to stay around and I know it's a dumb idea but I think I am going to be his friend. I think I am always going to love him and it'll probably hurt more than help but I can't let him go. I feel pathetic really. He deleted all pictures of me and him off of his social media. That hurt.  Yet I can't even be upset. All my thoughts are about him and all I can do is cry. I feel tempted every minute to pick up my phone and text him like usual and just say that I can't deal with the silence and I will be a friend but I know it's too soon for either of us - or maybe just me. I have no idea how he is handling this. I have no idea if he even feels any pain.  All I really want to do is sleep because at least the dreams are happy with him. Then when I wake up I am in reality and he's gone.  I am so broken and I just don't know what to do. I don't really have anyone to go to, and I don't really want to go to therapy again or anything like that which is why I am not telling my parents because I know what my mom will say already.  I just love him way too much. Heck I can't even take off the ring he gave me. I try but then I always put it back on.  This really sucks. 
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The one thing I was not expecting to happen - happened
Relationship Stress / by Livalathia
Last post
 April 9th, 2015
...See more This happened yesterday, but I wasn't really able to function much yesterday. Today isn't much better but I am at least trying to get it all out even though it's hardly helping.  So..I was with my boyfriend for 1 year and 7 months as of yesterday. I thought we were doing good, maybe a little distant since I was at college but I didn't think it was anything that we couldn't fix. We were talking fine up until last week and he suddenly felt distant. I just thought maybe something was going on, and boy was I wrong.  He broke up with my yesterday - on our anniversary over the phone. Saying he just couldn't be in a relationship anymore because he just needed to focus on his school work because he hasn't been doing well, and that he wasn't happy as of late in the relationship.  I understand, sort of,  but part of me thinks it was mainly my fault. I was always down because I am miserable at college and I wasn't really helping him emotionally and now I just am beating myself up because I lost the one guy I really love. No he isn't my first boyfriend I had two others and I never felt this way about them. This hurts a lot. I often thought about our future and he did too. We talked about the future not even 3 weeks before this whole deal.  So as you can guess I am really broken right now. He was one of the only people who could make me really smile and mean it. He saved me so many times and I really do love him.  He said he still cares about me and he wants to be there for me - and I want him to stay around and I know it's a dumb idea but I think I am going to be his friend. I think I am always going to love him and it'll probably hurt more than help but I can't let him go. I feel pathetic really. He deleted all pictures of me and him off of his social media. That hurt.  Yet I can't even be upset. All my thoughts are about him and all I can do is cry. I feel tempted every minute to pick up my phone and text him like usual and just say that I can't deal with the silence and I will be a friend but I know it's too soon for either of us - or maybe just me. I have no idea how he is handling this. I have no idea if he even feels any pain.  All I really want to do is sleep because at least the dreams are happy with him. Then when I wake up I am in reality and he's gone.  I am so broken and I just don't know what to do. I don't really have anyone to go to, and I don't really want to go to therapy again or anything like that which is why I am not telling my parents because I know what my mom will say already.  I just love him way too much. Heck I can't even take off the ring he gave me. I try but then I always put it back on.  This really sucks. 
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