Luh098 Member Profile

...See more Hey, I'm a 21yo girl who has being struggling with p*rn addiction for several years. English isn't my first language but since I'm fluent I won't have problems expressing myself here, so please keep reading. I already tried treatment with a former psychologist and it actually worked for some time, but since I relapsed I have been failing over and over again, and this keeps me frustrated since I have been trying for so long, I thought that at this point I would be already healed from this *** addiction. I have been into a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I love my partner, I really do, he wasn't the reason I first started trying to get rid off this addiction, but he turned out to be one of them since we started dating. By saying that, we're a really comunicative couple, and we already talked about this topic in the beginning of our relationship, we came to agreement that watching porn was a kind of cheating thing. We've promised to each other that we would get better on this from that day. Turned out he seemed to be able to get over it easier than I still try to do it, he seemed to have successed on his promise, while I'm still here. And my love for him is making me uncomfortable, because I know I can try to do more than I currently do, I know that this isn't fair with him, and that's why I'm uncomfortable, I need to be a better version to myself and to him. I have been non-religious for years, but I'm currently attending to some sunday's mass, even though I have never been into a catholic church ever in my life, I felt like I needed to come back to try to get closer to my Lord. I really felt that, not specifically in the catholic side, but turned out it was like that. I know some of you are not religious and this is not a problem for me! It really isn't, I'm still not converted, and I totally understand if you're not willing to be, but I just ask you to be empathic and comprehensive about what I'm gonna say. Since I was doing the treatment with my psychologist (She's an spiritism worshiper) I allowed her to talk about the spiritual side of that addiction and she oppened my eyes for several things about this, If I had a desire of getting closer to Christ, that desire grow even more by that time. Time passed by and when I started to attend to the mass the temptation, the shame, the guilty started to get worse than ever did. it was like I was being tempted all the time, I swear, all the time. And since I relapsed, the guilty has been unexplainable. I don't believe that this is because of the church's rules or things like that, but more like I'm being persuated to think that because of what I still do, I'm not good enough to try to be closer to God, that I'm not good enough, that I should stop trying to get over this, since is within me. I forget to say, but I'm also a adept of less social media, not because of the addiction but because I like this life style. I don't have ***, nor *** or other platforms anymore, so this is already a form of preveting myself of keeping in touch with sexualized material, but it seems like all the thing in the internet is sexualized nowadays, and this triggers me a lot, at least in the beginning, I know this may not be a problem when I recover of this, but today is, and I need to admit it. So I'd like to know what you guys do to preveting get acess to this type of content. I already talked with some close friend and even my mom some days ago, but even with that I lapsed again. I need to get better from this soon, I need to be a better versions, I need to honour the faith those people have in me, I ask for your help. People have recommed journaling to me, I don't know how to do it, and I don't even know if it workd to this kind of addiction, but my first step is here by writing all of this, it has been a long time since I wrote this much. By saying this guys, I thank you all for reading until here, and I beg for your replies and reccomendations of what I could possibly do or try to be a better version of me. Thank you!

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