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LumaLight22
334 M Embraced 3
PathStep 22 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts25 Forum upvotes31 Current upvotes31 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2020 Member sinceOctober 3, 2017
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Fears Came True
Anxiety Support / by LumaLight22
Last post
 March 13th, 2018
...See more I posted awhile back about how I wanted to quit my job, I did, and began to sleep regularly again, wonderful! That was maybe a couple weeks ago. Today, not 10 minutes ago my brother came home from work and we talked like normal; until he said I had to go get my cheque. Apparently, even though I only worked two days less then 4 hrs, I still had a cheque worth $88. Thats not all though, he told me that theyd apparently thought I was high when I was working. Ive never had alcohol, never smoked, never took drugs... heck, Ive never even had a cup of coffee or an energy drink once in my life. Ive constantly worried about what people thought of me, but it was always more about coming off as cold with how little I talk or express emotion, or about being stupid. And now its like it came true, they WERE thinking something about me while I was there. (And when Im not if they were clearly comfortable in telling my brother). Its a terrible feeling, I just got over that place and all the feelings from it are resurfacing. Has anyone else had an experience where their fear came true? If so, what did you after.
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I hope this works it for the better
Anxiety Support / by LumaLight22
Last post
 January 10th, 2018
...See more So this is it, I
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First Day Of Work
Anxiety Support / by LumaLight22
Last post
 January 11th, 2018
...See more And I don't want to go back, I feel like I've done so terribly, to the point I'm afraid they'll hate me or think I am a burden. I'm pretty well wishing that I'll be fired tomorrow. Hopefully, if theres any greater power, just please, pleeeeease have mercy on me. It's a job in the food industry that requires a LOT of interaction with the customers, but it's always been difficult to function as other people watch me. It feels like there's static in my brain, like that of an old television, and it gets progressively worse and worse as the day wears on. The static clouds my thoughts, it's white noise filling my ears and slowing my actions. I couldn't raise my voice loud enough most of the time to be heard. I could literally feel the tension, they were trying to be nice to me, but I could tell by their grimace that they grew tired of me, I could feel the frustration in their eyes. I don't want to go back I don't want to go back I don't want to go back I don't want to go back I don't want to go back. But I have to, otherwise I'll get in trouble. If this world were a jigsaw puzzle I wouldn't fit in it, my edges cut for that of another, not belonging with these other pieces. I can only hope for a better day tomorrow.
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The Smaller Habits of Social Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by LumaLight22
Last post
 January 10th, 2018
...See more I've posted before about how social anxiety has a large impact on my day-to-day life, but I've noticed that I have habits that are social anxiety related that are smaller and don't always involve face to face interaction; such as: 1) Rereading EVERYTHING I write, I'm not exaggerating: text messages, posts, comments, e-mails etc. I've gone over it at least a million times. 2) Looking up definitions for the words that I am using, even though I am very familiar with the word; for example, I posted to a thread asking us to describe our anxiety in one word, I chose debilitating, and I googled it JUST to make sure. I do it all the time. 3) Stopping to pull out my phone if a vehicle is bound to arrive at the same time as me at a crosswalk, pretending to check my text messages or changing the song I'm listening to. Proceeding to approach the crosswalk once they're gone. 4) Counting out the money I have before entering a store, estimating the price, then adding at least a dollar or more on top; then separating them into different pockets: -need - probably won't need 5) When I was in school, I would wait for someone else to hand in their test first; then wait 2 minutes or so to hand mine in; regardless of how long I'd been finished. These are some of the smaller things I end up doing, who can relate? Just so I get the idea of whether or not I'm the only one. What habits do you have?
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What do I do about Social Anxiety?
Anxiety Support / by LumaLight22
Last post
 December 4th, 2017
...See more What do I do about Social Anxiety? When nobody knows about the way I feel, and I
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Social Anxiety (?)
Anxiety Support / by LumaLight22
Last post
 November 2nd, 2017
...See more I've just graduated from high school, and I am 99.99% certain that I have social anxiety. Thing is, I don't want to outright say as such, because Ive never seen a professional or even mentioned that I think I have it to someone else. (What professional would you even see for this?). I think I have social anxiety because I struggle with: making phone calls,cashier interaction, group projects/discussions, asking questions, keeping/ making eye contact, asking others for help. (Even general converstations.) I'm really only addressing this for the first time because I feel it might be very detrimental for my future, especially seeing as how now is a very pivotal moment in my life where I should be enrolling for post secondary. (The idea is exciting, the enrolling process... Is difficult and terrifying to me). But... How do I go about it? What should I do? I think I fear telling others (such as my family) that I think I have social anxiety because I have no real... Confirmation? They don't know what my school or work life is like, whatsoever. I write down and REHEARSE what I'm going to say before I make a phone call. I forget what the customers Im assisting in footwear look like because I can't maintain eye contact for very long, Ive NEVER done a group project when I was in school (I worked alone), and a Whole. Lot. More. I'm really just open to any advice, what should I do about this disorder I think I have? How would I go about... Opening a discussion about this with my family? What other things might help? I think, what I want foremost is confirmation, a yes or no, because of the frustration of wondering why I tend to struggle with "everyday things." But how do I get that?
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