Social Anxiety (?)
I've just graduated from high school, and I am 99.99% certain that I have social anxiety. Thing is, I don't want to outright say as such, because Ive never seen a professional or even mentioned that I think I have it to someone else. (What professional would you even see for this?).
I think I have social anxiety because I struggle with: making phone calls,cashier interaction, group projects/discussions, asking questions, keeping/ making eye contact, asking others for help. (Even general converstations.)
I'm really only addressing this for the first time because I feel it might be very detrimental for my future, especially seeing as how now is a very pivotal moment in my life where I should be enrolling for post secondary. (The idea is exciting, the enrolling process... Is difficult and terrifying to me).
But... How do I go about it? What should I do? I think I fear telling others (such as my family) that I think I have social anxiety because I have no real... Confirmation? They don't know what my school or work life is like, whatsoever. I write down and REHEARSE what I'm going to say before I make a phone call. I forget what the customers Im assisting in footwear look like because I can't maintain eye contact for very long, Ive NEVER done a group project when I was in school (I worked alone), and a Whole. Lot. More.
I'm really just open to any advice, what should I do about this disorder I think I have? How would I go about... Opening a discussion about this with my family? What other things might help? I think, what I want foremost is confirmation, a yes or no, because of the frustration of wondering why I tend to struggle with "everyday things." But how do I get that?
@LumaLight22
Hello there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at 7Cups :) It sounds like from what you have described you are feeling so lost and overwhelmed with your life right now. When did this start for you? It sounds like you are experiencing anxiety and you have done really well to reach out too as I understand it isn't easy.
When you mention you feel overwhelmed in situations, can you describe that a little more?
Lisa
@OceanCounselling
I think it started back in highschool, although I had been a very "quiet" person throughout the entirety of my life it really only became a problem then. When things become overwhelming, I guess, I become extremely stressed: I can feel my heart beating rapidly, shallow breathing, sometimes I will literally begin to shake (though I try very hard to repress it.) Becoming twitchy. A lot of the time, I think I just try to avoid situations altogether, I'll just stay out of conversations and when Im forced to interact I'll chip in quick answers or respond that I don't know (even when I do). Just the idea of having to do something makes me feel stressed at times.
@LumaLight22
i am so sorry as I have only just seen this now! How are you feeling?
It sounds like youve been feeling very anxious for a long time, how long has it been this way for you? It must be very unsettling. What ways have you tried to manage your anxiety?
Lisa
It sounds like you most definitely have social anxiety. I went through (and am still going through) most of these same problems as you; and for me it only seemed to get worse as time goes by. BUT, as you go into college or start working, there is hope! You should pay a visit to the counseling center at whatever school you go to; odds are they will have resources there to help you, and anxiety (even social anxiety) is a fairly common problem nowadays. Some research into social anxiety and how to manage it will give you a lot to work with self-help, as most of it is cognitive. Apps like Pacifica can help to manage it, and of course this site :)
As to opening up to your family/friends about it, that's a little more difficult to pin down...You might have to use your best judgement, as you know them, but if you do want to open up, just be honest about it.
That's a lot, sorry! But hope it helps. Just take it one little step at a time :)
Hi there, and thanks for the post! First off, congrats on graduating from high school!
I am sorry to hear of your struggles, and I hope you are feeling reassured by the posts here so far. Well, any mental health specialist/ professional would be ideal if you are interested in treatment and help. Admitting your issues is a huge step and shows initiative and courage. It is totally fine to take things into baby steps. Just remember that social anxiety does not have to define who you are and your future. Feel free to reach out to a listener if you wish to talk!
@LumaLight22 Sounds similar to what I have. Things like making phone calls and interaction with cashiers. I am afraid people will get mad at me if I make too many requests or hold up the line too long. Over time I realized that cashiers are nice and I dread it less. Still avoid phone calls though. My social anxiety comes from my family yelling at me and telling me everyone hates me. Strangers don't yell at me but I always worry that they might. Do you know why you are anxious? What you think might happen during these interactions? I hope you find a solution.