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LunaMothx
1,260 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts135 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes37 Current upvotes37 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceOctober 21, 2023
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Need advice, plz help
Relationship Stress / by LunaMothx
Last post
 November 6th, 2023
...See more Tw: depression (A bit long i know but please if you can read please do.. 💔) Hope everyone is having a blessed day. Anyway, i need advice.. because i am just going crazy.  Like holy mother how do i stop finding reasons to justify his cheating and him moving on? I already tried therapy. Like, I thought i was being a good woman, i thought i did everything right(or so i thought), i thought i was going to leave a good impression on him, i thought i was the love of his life and i thought he was happy with me like i was with him…. but i feel like it was never enough, I’ve questioned why, like was it because I encouraged him whenever he wanted to waste money on games and technology, or because I didn’t gave enough unsolicited s*xual acts? Or because i stopped wearing make up or make myself beautiful after giving birth? Because i argued every week trying to solve problems? I I’ve even criticized my physical.. like is my forehead or chin so big? (They are) or do i disgust him now? Etc etc…. keep thinking of every little detail i could have done differently.. and it’s making me be stuck in the mud.. he already moved on and i am stuck! Feeling jealous of her (for having him), thinking all kinds of dumb stuff like “she’s far prettier” “she won’t make him go crazy with arguing” “what if she’s the one for him” “what if she’s his soulmate “ “what if she gives him what we both wanted which was a baby girl” “what if she’s the one who he truly marries” or “was i the bad influence?” Is pathetic i know! and wishing he’d come back.. wishing i could do things differently a second time. It’s horrible! I feel so unbelievably st*pid and pathetic…. But i have never had a good self esteem, and now is beyond low, on the floor.. he was the love of my life and i am seriously struggling.. I can’t even find myself beautiful or consider myself special or deserving of love..  When i look in the mirror i see myself as his biggest mistake…. Idk if it’s the depression or trauma bond or what else talking…. I am stuck still loving him.. that man was my everything.. the reason for me to smile and feel happy, i would always be so thankful for even the tiniest of moments with him, i admired and adored everything about him from physical to emotional, he was the man of my dreams….
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How do you let go? How can i even heal and deserve happiness?
Relationship Stress / by LunaMothx
Last post
 November 1st, 2023
...See more How do you heal and let go of someone you hurt first? I literally can’t seem to stop wanting my Baby’s father back.. i love him so much still.. but is my own fault, a bed i made myself.. I talked to an ex from a relationship of many years ago while we (my bd and me) were in a relationship the first few months, and hid it and erased, but i can swear we didn’t talked about anything from our past together or anything about love, but that doesn’t matter as i still did wrong by just talking and definitely by lying and erasing, trust me, there hasn’t been a day where i ask myself why.. why was i so st*pid and if i knew I wasn’t talking bad stuff why even erase or hide, and how could i been so stupid and so heartless to do that knowing what i was going to lose…. There wasn’t a day where I would apologize in tears and on my knees basically for what i did, he said he forgave me but he didn’t fr.. there wasn’t a day where i tried to make up for my mistake and tried to be the best gf possible and supportive and give him all the love i could.. i gave my all for him, my heart and soul and commitment and money, and we even had a baby.. we continued the relationship for 2 years, but he said he pretended all that time to love me.. and that it was all a lie.. he was cheating on me as revenge all that time too.. with a few.. and tbh, it HURTS but i deserved it.. i more than deserved it.. he left me 2 months ago for someone prettier and treats him better and who won’t hurt him like i did….he’s so happy.. happier than he ever was with me.. and I cannot stop crying or suffering or wanting to d** from the guilt.. the guilt is killing me even if it was 2 years ago.. I thought i was a good woman, i thought i was making him happy, but i was SO wrong.. i cry everyday, I can’t focus on anything except the extreme guilt…. Even if i am forgiven what does it matter if I can’t have him back…. I know it sounds selfish.. but is just that I can’t believe i ruined the best relationship i ever had for being such a stupid dumba** the guilt is k***ing me.. the guilt of because of me my baby grows without a father by the same roof…. Because of me I can’t marry him or have more kids with him.. I literally just want to d*e fr.. i am so extremely overwhelmed.. i know i am being more of a woman than a mother but i cannot live with the guilt of loosing the love of my life because i was stupid and immature and who knows what else…. I deserve to always be alone.. i don’t deserve anything.. i wish he would come back to me.. so i could make things differently this time…. But that’s selfish of me..
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Question for all the men out there
Depression Support / by LunaMothx
Last post
 November 3rd, 2023
...See more tw: mental health Does it make a girl less attractive or undatable to be mentally/emotionally unstable? Like crying a lot, constantly apologizing, being mad one second but the next apologizing etc. Also would you date or love a girl like that? Would you help her heal?
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