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MapleBunni
415 M Embraced 3
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 17, 2024
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16 going though the pains of life

Recent forum posts
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I hate sleeping
Depression Support / by MapleBunni
Last post
 February 27th, 2024
...See more Going to sleep has to be the scariest part of the whole day. I can be having a calm and kinda normal day and do things to distract myself from negative thoughts....but as soon as night time hits and Im alone laying in my bed doing nothing all the thoughts start piling up and clouding my mind. This usually leads to crying, uncomfortable panic attacks or me relapsing again. The amount of deadly thoughts Ive been having lately are honestly starting to scare me and I think I might do something very bad impulsively to myself soon. I littlerly don't know what to do I swear it feels like im only getting like 3-4 hours asleep 😴
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I have 0 self worth
Self-Esteem / by MapleBunni
Last post
 February 18th, 2024
...See more (Trigger warning) What is it like having 0 self worth? ||Well I can tell you from experience as I always hated every aspects about myself since as long as I could remember. From my voice, to my body, to my failures in life, my weight, my hair, my big nose, how I'm "slim" but I still have a belly which I hate, my acene that never seems like it will go away, I hate my love handles, I hate how I feel like I am the only girl who is unlucky enough to have hair on her stomach, I hate feeling like I missed out on opportunities, I hate how I feel like no matter how long I try to learn somthing I still fail at it (This is 100% true) I hate how everyone seems to have a passion on somthing in life while I don't, I hate math class (lol) and how even though I study I still fail my test, I hate how I feel like I am still on Level 1 like even though I am walking I'm not moving. I hate how I feel numb all the time. I hate how I can't spend time with my amazing little sister or parents because I am so exhused for work and schoolwork. I swear I freaking hate how tried I am ALL THE TIME even after I get a goodnight sleep. I hate how I ALWAYS space out and daydream about fictional events and not my own life. I hate how I always feel like I am always disappointing God, how I always try and stop bad habits however as soon as I am triggered I go back to them like a magnet. And what I hate most is that I have absoulute NO self respect for myself. I can try and fake it but It never works longterm. I send *** to older men not because of lust but simply because I want to hear the words "Your body looks beautiful" from them since I wake up everyday thinking like its not. It's like I am addicting to hearing thoughs words from men who take advanage of me. I know its illegal for them to be asking for theses pictures but I don't care, I don't care about anything really. I am not suicidal but if death struck me right now I wouldn't even care. I feel like just like a pinch of dirt
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