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Mari5
6,401
L Helper 10
5 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings13 Number of reviews5 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Dutch Listener sinceOct 22, 2017 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderFemale PathStep 29 People helped27 Chats105 Group support chats0 Listener group chats0 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes20
Bio

Hii,
my name is Mari, I'm here for you if you want to talk!

Recent forum posts
Mari5 profile picture
Diary- Can anyone relate? Trapped in happiness.
Journals & Diaries / by Mari5
Last post
 September 30th, 2020
...See more I wish someone could just know, without me having to tell them. I wish someone could just understand, without me having to explain. Because i can't talk and i can't explain. Words would just get stuck in my throat and i'd feel silly and carelessly laugh it off. My sadness is so secret it feels like it isn't even mine. I've started crying a lot, the last year or so. I don't really know why, it just happens. It's always silent, sometimes I can even just ignore it and continu doing what i'm doing while casual teardrops just roll over my face, othertimes it consumes me and i can only stare into space. I always have to be alone when i cry though, when i can't cry at home i ride my bike 30 mins to the dunes where i finally feel alone enough to cry. The moment i hear the front door open or another person comming close it's like my tears crawl back inside. They sting a little behind my eyes but i have no trouble smiling bright. It's almost impossible how fast my mood can change. Sometimes i feel trapped in my own happiness. Around people I can't seem to express anything else, even if i wanted too. I once tried to tell my mom i wasn't alright. We sat on the couch, I looked at her and just simply said: 'I'm feeling sad.' But it was probably a combination of my big silly grin and the unlikelyness of me seriously being sad, that made my mom laugh. 'Why?' she asked. I shook my head knowing it was silly and i coudn't pull trough. 'I don't know' I laught. And that was that. My feelings can't be shared and so i just have to keep them to myself. It makes me feel extremely lonely and isolated. It is a feeling of loneliness that is really hard to recognize since i have so many and close friends, but a loneliness that is there non the less. When my friends and family shower me in love they often ask me how i can always be so happy, positive and chill. I can only smile and say thanks. That's a great reputation to have, and i'm happy with that. But sometimes i just wish that someone, just anyone in this world, knew about all the tears i've cried, the dark thoughts that have inhabited my mind and the havy stone that lies in the bottom of my stomach. please if you experience something similar, respond <3
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My 5 steps/stages
Depression Support / by Mari5
Last post
 April 8th, 2020
...See more This is what helped me, of course everyone is different and Im not claiming to have found THE solution. But I still decided to share, in case it might be of any use to anyone!❤️ 0 is when youre feeling worst, I think it explains itself. 0 Breathe, just breathe. Live second by second. 1 FEEL the pain/worry, and accept that this is how you feel right now. Accept that youre not really doing anything. Thats okay. Youre not wasting your time, youre just going through something. You can only move forward once you stop en see where you are. Weird one, but try and really feel how the feeling of standing up differs from laying in bed. (You dont have to like it, everything is okay, just experience) 2 Give yourself small tasks for the day, something your positive you can do. (Get out of bed, shower, take a walk, eat a sandwich or open the curtains) on bad days your task can just be swallow it doesnt matter how small or seemingly pointless, just give yourself a goal. Try to be with others. This idea might seem uncomfortable, but dont worry. Know that no one is aspecting you to behave a certain way. Its okay if you cant be funny, enthusiastic or even sound remotely interested in the conversation. You dont have to be. And its okay if you dont like being with others, youre not doing this for fun but youre doing this as part of a thought process. 3 When friends/family call dont let it ring. Even if you cant hang out with them, answer the phone to tell them. Try to eat your food at a table. When lying in bed in the morning think about how bad getting up would really be, try it, is it that bad? Walk a little, does it make you feel worse or better? Challenge yourself not to go back to bed after this, but know nothing is lost if you do. Try to write, also (or especially) when youre feeling better/okay. We tend to forget we ever felt better once we feel bad again. The past is in the past and is a 1000 times less important than the present. 4 Dont be afraid of getting better. Its perfectly normal to feel this way. Gaining can be scary because you have more to lose, but dont worry, enjoy what you have. Know that even if youre doing better you are still allowed to have very ugly bad days. This is not a step back. Try to go for a walk on Friday. You are always allowed to call someone to just talk, even if youre not in crisis. 5 See what you have. Just appreciate random things. (The closet in your room, the fact you dont have a runny nose, your favorite shirt, the fact you have sight) Remember good memories. And know youll not only keep remembering these-once but will also make more! Youre still allowed to cry even if your not that sad. Youre still allowed to really be THAT sad. Its not a step back! Xxx-
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Feedback & Reviews
Highly recommend
Helpful and trusting
She listens well and tries to understand the situation which is really nice
You are the best♡
Amazing, helped me so much :)
Categories
Depression
Bullying
Sleeping Well
Exercise Motivation
Forgiveness
Loneliness
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