Melancholy23 Member Profile

...See more So it's a really long story but to make it simple. My girl friend and I ended things. Well she ended it after finding out that I had been talking to other girls. Then we decided to work towards getting back together and giving it another go so we dated but not in a relationship. Then I did it again. This was a consistent issue with me. The first time I did flirt and lied about not being a relationship. This last time I ended up calling them a queen (I don't remember the context) and was asking to hang out with someone my GF suspected that I had feelings for. I feel awful. I don't really understand why I did it. I can't even remember the queen thing and talking to the girl she suspected I just wanted to see and say hi and I had no romantic intentions. But after going through my phone my girl friend didn't want to listen to anything I had to say. Even if we were not officially together at the moment this happened nor after. It's that I lied to her about talking to other women and she trusted that I was dedicated to her and making things right. And I was but I couldn't help but look to see what else is out there. I don't know if I wanted a back up plan or I was window shopping or what. I just did it to see what might happen. At the end of the day I would have chosen her and I didn't really care for these women. Now she's brined everything and has adamantly decided to end things and I don't know what to do, think or feel at this point. It's all my fault. I am a terrible person. I hurt her and I wish I could take it all back and make right. I was given a 2nd chance and I pissed it away. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know why I keep destroying everything good for myself.

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