MiiRegina Member Profile

MiiRegina

1,503 M Little Steps 5

PathStep 20 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2018 Member sinceApril 18, 2016

Bio

I'm Milenna, brazilian, 15 and I'm pansexual. I have anxiety, panic attacks and depression. But, everyday, I try to keep my head up and help other peoples :)

Recent forum posts

I Hate Myself ***Trigger warning***

Trauma Support / by MiiRegina

May 27th, 2016

...See more I was 12 when I was abused. By a family friend. I was confused, and felt him touching me, but I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. As he touched me with his fingers, I pretended to be all right and said nothing. In a way, it was my fault. I should have screamed, me away. But every time he was going home, I let him touch me. He never has it, but it hurt sometimes when he went deeper. I was just a child. For some time, this "friend" left to go to our home. And I thought it was fine. Big lie. I was afraid of others. Fear of anyone close to me, I was afraid someone touch me. Was afraid. And then our neighbor decided it would be interesting to mess around with my breasts. It hurt a lot, and he played in front of me. I stayed quiet. I had accepted that maybe I was a slut. A while later, he turned to me and said it was a pity I did not have 18 years. He could teach me to be a woman. And a few days later, he moved with his wife. I never let anyone touch me. No one even. Not even me. I'm afraid of many things, but mainly people close to me. And there's nothing worse than that. I feel used. I feel that only serve to use. I let this happen. It was my fault. I hate myself.

It's a short history, but okay

Depression Support / by MiiRegina

April 23rd, 2016

...See more A few months ago I do not feel really well. I began to have pain in the stomach, sudden suffocation, and sudden crying spells. My teachers told me it could be anxiety or depression. I did not feel really depressed, but had already told me I looked really have anxiety. Around this time, I had a fight with my best friend, problems at school, my evolved attacks to panic attacks and social anxiety. Soon, before long my psychologist suspected that I was slowly becoming depressed. At the beginning of the year, my friend and I went back to talk. But the attacks and anxiety continued, and today, they may be worse. This week, I went to the hospital because of suffocation and pain in the stomach that accompany the attacks. I'm afraid. Fear of having an attack at school, afraid to discover my problems, afraid to see me as a "sick girl". I'm overcoming depression. Slowly. It is pretty hard. I isolate myself still pretty and, in the worst days, barely have the strength to get out of bed. But I feel I need to get over it, or I'll never feel good about myself. I do not feel myself. In fact, I hate myself for being so weak. I need to get over it.

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