It's a short history, but okay
A few months ago I do not feel really well. I began to have pain in the stomach, sudden suffocation, and sudden crying spells. My teachers told me it could be anxiety or depression. I did not feel really depressed, but had already told me I looked really have anxiety. Around this time, I had a fight with my best friend, problems at school, my evolved attacks to panic attacks and social anxiety. Soon, before long my psychologist suspected that I was slowly becoming depressed. At the beginning of the year, my friend and I went back to talk. But the attacks and anxiety continued, and today, they may be worse. This week, I went to the hospital because of suffocation and pain in the stomach that accompany the attacks. I'm afraid. Fear of having an attack at school, afraid to discover my problems, afraid to see me as a "sick girl".
I'm overcoming depression. Slowly. It is pretty hard. I isolate myself still pretty and, in the worst days, barely have the strength to get out of bed. But I feel I need to get over it, or I'll never feel good about myself. I do not feel myself. In fact, I hate myself for being so weak. I need to get over it.
@MiiRegina
Getting out of bed is a huge accomplishment. It sounds like you are fortunate enough to have teachers that recognize possible signs. Don't worry about a 'stigma'! The ones that will say something would say your overweight, or underweight, too tall, or too short. Sadly, there are people that think the way to build themselves up is by knocking others down. It's difficult but try and think, "Do these people matter to me? Do these people care enough to reach out a hand to me? Why care about what they think?
You may want to consider speaking with someone who does have training. Looking for help is a sign of strength, not of weakness.
I'm glad I came across your post and hope I see more.
Try and be patient & loving with yourself.
@JeffWM
Thanks.
They are small things like that make my day be better, you know? I do realize that it really worth it to go on living.
It's hard to get out of bed and think: Today will be a better day. But I try, because it is these little things that make me feel better about myself.
Well, thank you.
It is important for me to know that there are people who care.
@MiiRegina
The best part of a bad day is knowing that it's okay. It is momentary and it will pass.
No. It's not easy. There are no money back guarantees on future happiness.
I believe we are not bound or defined by our past. We choose how we will react to circumstances. Think about how nice it is that your feet hit the floor when you got out of the bed and not your head. ;) I'm only partly being foolish. All of us are physically & emotionally fragile. It's like we're walking a high-wire in a circus. Reach out your hands for balance. Reach out your hands to touch another one.
I have no wise answers. I believe we are all suffering in some manner. No sentient (feeling) being wants to suffer, so naturally, we want it to stop. Yet in looking for ways to make the suffering stop, often we look to things that not only don't cause our suffering but (eventually) cause more suffering (abusing food, sex, drugs, alcohol...). I write and read a lot. I will be the first to say that they are "escapes" from (what is sometimes) life's suffering. The one thing reading & writing or any artistic endeavor have is they are not destructive.
Be strong. Consider looking for help if you think it might help.