Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
MissTails
11,206 M Pacing Forward 5
PathStep 74 Compassion hearts74 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceOctober 31, 2016
Bio
Recent forum posts
MissTails profile picture
"Dating" Confusion??
Relationship Stress / by MissTails
Last post
 February 12th, 2017
...See more Met a guy online dating. We hit it off and have been texting and going on dates for the past month. He's treated me better than any guy I've ever dated; treats me like a guy would treat his girlfriend in a sense (always texting me, genuinely cares, initiates the dates). Last week we had a conversation about commitment and why he didn't want to label anything (not that I wanted to label our dating right now, just curious). He said he still had some feelings for his ex and wanted to be single and date around for a while (just out of a 4yr relationship). He cautioned that even though he wasn't looking for commitment now, if things went well between us, we could potentially be committed, or he may meet another girl and date her too (if they clicked). I'm confused at this though. He says I'm the only girl he's dating and that we are really solid right now and nothing could mess that up. Do you think he would actually go out and look for other women? Or do you think that maybe he just said that as a test or to protect himself? Maybe I am overthinking this? The way he treats me just makes me believe that he wouldn't actually go out of his way to meet other women. Thank you in advance for your opinions/advice :)
MissTails profile picture
I'm so confused... ranting, sorry :(
Relationship Stress / by MissTails
Last post
 November 3rd, 2016
...See more Sorry in advance for the length of this post, nights are the worst when it comes to emotions :/ I went through a breakup in October. We were together for 1 year, 8 months and we were just so in love with each other. We did everything together and were already planning our future. I made the mistake of confiding in a friend who I didn't realize was so overbearing when it came to ruts in relationships. She told me to break up with him, and that continued for a month or so, leading to my emotional breakdowns. To get her off my back because standing up to her didn't work and I was miserable with the overwhelming breakup talk from her, I broke it off with my boyfriend. I regretted it as soon as I had said what I had said to him. Maybe two weeks after the breakup and not hearing anything from him, I decided to go to his house to explain that this was not what I wanted and I just needed some kind of closure. We ended up talking and I said that it wasn't what I wanted and he said (fair point I may add), I chose a friend of 3 months, over him who I had been with for nearly 2 years. Hearing him say that broke my heart. I messed up...bad. He said that he was over me, had moved on, didn't feel anything for me, but didn't hold anything negative against me. I told him that I wished we could start over and he said that he wished there was a time machine so that we could start over. When I started to cry, he just hugged me and rubbed my back for as long as I needed. Then he proceeded to hold my hand, tears in his eyes. He left and even though it wasn't what I wanted, I had gotten my closure. The next morning, I woke up to a text from him saying that we would've worked out. I told him it was still possible, that I would be moving out soon and that I don't talk to that overbearing friend anymore, even though I knew she was only trying to be nice. He kept saying no, that he couldn't do that now and that he needed time away from me for a long time. He never said he couldn't date me specifically so of course I cling onto that hope... I keep telling myself that he couldn't already be moved on and no longer love me in less than 2 weeks after a near 2 year relationship. I told him that I'd give him his time. I said that he had already given me hope. He's the type of person who would shut that message down if he knew there was no hope...but he's also someone who believes that if there's a single breakup in a relationship, the couple is automatically deemed unsuccessful. Yet, I know many couples who are going strong and have broken up more than once. I still feel that we have a slight chance, but I am confused about his feelings and whether I should even think of approaching him again and telling him that I am getting therapy and that I've found 7 Cups for additional support so I'm not so high strung and stressed. I want to work things out and it feels like he does too. I don't really know where to go from here. I'm trying my best to live each day by taking care of me and doing what I like, but he's always on the back of my mind, even though I try not to think of him possibly talking to me in the future.
Search more from @MissTails
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
24 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Super Active Chief Chat Honest Voice Confident Voice Power Voice Strong Start Milestone Journeying Strong Reconnect Walking Together Strong Bond First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Helpful heart Bundled Togetherness Teammate Forum Friend Strong Bond I
Report an issue