"Dating" Confusion??
Met a guy online dating. We hit it off and have been texting and going on dates for the past month. He's treated me better than any guy I've ever dated; treats me like a guy would treat his girlfriend in a sense (always texting me, genuinely cares, initiates the dates). Last week we had a conversation about commitment and why he didn't want to label anything (not that I wanted to label our dating right now, just curious). He said he still had some feelings for his ex and wanted to be single and date around for a while (just out of a 4yr relationship). He cautioned that even though he wasn't looking for commitment now, if things went well between us, we could potentially be committed, or he may meet another girl and date her too (if they clicked). I'm confused at this though. He says I'm the only girl he's dating and that we are really solid right now and nothing could mess that up. Do you think he would actually go out and look for other women? Or do you think that maybe he just said that as a test or to protect himself? Maybe I am overthinking this? The way he treats me just makes me believe that he wouldn't actually go out of his way to meet other women.
Thank you in advance for your opinions/advice :)
@MissTails
Hey there! Thank you for reaching out to 7Cups for support!
I know from personal experience that anything long distance can be difficult at times, especially with trusting the other person and their intentions on the internet. It seems you are becoming closer with this person, but have some concerns or maybe doubts. You are not overreacting at all! It is perfectly alright to be more catious with things online, and to have these questions. I believe these are things you should try to bring up to the other person, to try to have a conversation where you can freely express yourself. Relationships of all kind are built on communication and trust. :) You should be able to bring up this topic with the intention of calming your doubts and getting truthful answers from them. Since this is something they may have mentioned before, looking for other women, I would personally feel worried and skeptical myself. I believe this reaction is normal to have in a situation like yours. I would try to talk to him first before anything else :) Also ask yourself things about the relationship that might help you with your own feelings towards it. Do you trust him? Do you feel the conversations you have aren't geninue anymore? Is his actions and talking specious?
Hopefully this helped a little bit :p
@KatMae
Thank you! I definitely feel the need to talk to him somedays about this because somedays he texts me all the time and some days (like today) he just doesn't text as much. I guess it doesn't help that he's a pilot so talking about this with him makes it difficult to meet in person. I'm glad you don't think I'm overreatcting and I'll be careful as I figure things out :)
@MissTails
I can see how him being a pilot would make having certain coversations diffcult. Could it be that he texts you more on the days when he is not working and on the days where he must be in the air he is unable to text as much? Long distance relationships can be tough! However, they are not impossible to thrive in. The key is making intentions known. It sounds like this guy really likes you. It also sounds like you may be the first person he has dated other than his ex in four years. Please understand that four years is a long time to be in a relationship and then have a break-up. There are some things to consider. 1) It is possible that he will not date anyone else. 2) He was simply trying to tell you that he will date other people. 3) He is protecting himself because he is afraid of being hurt again. 4) Although he likes you he is not looking for anthing to serious right now. You must make some choices. You must even accept what he has told you and continue your relationship or you can not accept it and move on. It sounds like you really like this guy! Isn't it so REFRESHING when you meet someone who treats you the way you desire! I feel so happy for you and I hope it works out the way you want!
@EbonyMFT
Thank you :) Yes, it is hard with him being a pilot but I've found that he'll text me whether he's at home or when he's flying, there's just some days (like today in particular) that make me question if he's met somebody else, if I should just start accepting the fact that he'll probably leave me in a couple days, and then I get all down, telling myself I'm not good enough...that's not healthy, I know. But I do want to continue and I feel that he treats me so well, he may be worth getting hurt (as I came out of a 2year relationship around the same time). I don't know, so much of me says that he will hurt me and leave me for someone better but part of me thinks that I will be the only girl and he's just protecting himself. I guess we will find out?
@MissTails
You ARE enough! You must believe that. Try focusing on the positives and trust the process. I do hope it works out for you.
