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Neen1107
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceMarch 14, 2023
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Against my own promise to myself
Newbie Hub / by Neen1107
Last post
 March 25th, 2023
...See more Hey ok so I went against everything that I swore to myself for the past few months maybe years I can’t tell anymore how long it’s been that I would actually tell my real emotions to another person again. I did today to my therapist and my best friend. I made this promise to myself bc I’m in recovery for codependency, grief trauma etc bipolar, and Lord know what else. But I was doing ok for a while… For a good 2 years anyway to get to the point I suffer from severe anxiety and ptsd as well and just got out of an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship to a drug addict. Sorry… point…my son passed away from SUDC and things got really wonky for a while. I got out of the relationship away from the abuse but not away from all the dark thoughts. i am so anxious and I’m hyper manic right now w mixed episodes it’s a scary ride but I shared today and it’s dark and I asked my therapist to call my psychiatrist because I needed help explaining to him what’s going on bc I haven’t really seen him in a couple months so he not really “ up to speed “ like my therapist. im holding everything back to not text her to not contact him. Because let’s face it. It’s easier to fake it. It just becomes reality eventually and as always this too shall pass as each season does it idk maybe my therapist telling me all about being real and not acting would actually work out but like I said in earlier thread sharing is hard
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Sharing is hard
Newbie Hub / by Neen1107
Last post
 March 15th, 2023
...See more Hi obviously I’m new. I’m looking for some type of support and I don’t know where to turn. My life has been filled with traumatic events and I’m in recovery but I feel well just lost and alone I’ve been in therapy and my therapist is amazing but she can’t be my only support system anymore it’s just not fair. I don’t feel understood amd I can’t trust anyone with my true feelings for many different reasons beyond being burned by so many friends and I feel like I’ve exhausted everyone around me so I’m isolating and honestly I feel like nobody cares I’ve been down this road many times, this depressive one but never felt this alone. I lost my 2 year old son Luke years back and I have just never been the same. I’ve come very far from where I was VERY far but then sometimes I just get so triggered I feel like I lost all the progress I’ve done on myself. The problem is I don’t know anymore what to do I’m at a loss and I feels like all the steps in recovery have just been cancelled out with feelings of defeat lately. I know this too shall pass as it did in the past but idk. (It’s taking all my nerve right now to not delete this and just move on
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