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NicoleLovesKittens
483 M Embraced 4
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 24, 2020
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asking my narcissistic mother for affection after minimum contact
Trauma Support / by NicoleLovesKittens
Last post
 February 19th, 2021
...See more About a week ago a was really upset so I asked my narcissistic mother for one knowing that we were in a “good” phase and I would receive it. But now I can’t stop thinking about it. after months of minimum contact and responses and then I do this and I’m scared.
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I hate how this feels
Personality Disorders Support / by NicoleLovesKittens
Last post
 February 18th, 2021
...See more I hate feeling like everyone hates me. I hate picking apart simple actions and thinking that one small thing means they are mad at me or that they hate me. I hate having a disagreement and feeling like our whole friendship is ruined. I hate feeling like they might secretly hate me or that they secretly can’t stand me. What if they are just putting up with me because they feel sorry for me. Or that I’m already going through a lot and they don’t want to hurt me more. What if I’m doing everything wrong? What if they see me like I see myself, not good enough and not important? What if I don’t really matter to them? What if we never get close because they have other better friends? I hate always wondering when they will leave because everyone always does. I hate feeling guilty for opening up to them. I feel like when I do I just annoy them. I’m afraid of being too much and not enough if that makes any since. I’m tired of the daily cycles or just hourly sometimes. I’m tired of being paranoid in a way. I’m tired of being suspicious of everyone. I hate feeling ignored when I know I’m not. I feel always feel so left out. I feel like they don’t want to include me. I feel like I’m not included. I’m not as important as there other friends and never will be. Everyone is better then me. Im not worthy of their time or effort and I feel like they know that. I just hate this so much.
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How do you tell someone you have BPD?
Personality Disorders Support / by NicoleLovesKittens
Last post
 March 30th, 2020
...See more Theres such a stigma around it and I feel like when you say the words borderline personality disorder they have so many judgements already and there mind switchs off to anything you are saying. So Im wondering if theres a way to tell someone without actually saying the words? at least not at first.
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I think my boyfriend raped me
Trauma Support / by NicoleLovesKittens
Last post
 March 14th, 2020
...See more Last week on Tuesday not this past Tuesday but the one before that. I had sex with my boyfriend because he had been asking and pressuring me for a while now. and | just thought why not. It started out fine we started to have sex but I just couldnt do it. so I told him to stop. Then he said its not that bad you will be fine and I said no I cant do this. He wasnt letting me get up. I said please I dont want to anymore. then he said well you already agreed, you cant just go changing your mind whenever. so we are going to do this rather you want to or not. then I was fighting to get up and just repeating no over and over. I dont know what to do. |m Not even sure this even counts as rape because I did agree. Its just Im so scared.
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