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NightShadeMusk
244 M Embraced 2
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceApril 8, 2021
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Having slow and steady mental breakdown after marriage
Family & Caregivers / by NightShadeMusk
Last post
 December 4th, 2021
...See more I got married to a orthodo indian family. Before marriage my mother in law had some issues with my mother, she thought my mother is very interfering and doesn't respect her enough. She very blatantly and outrightly insulted my parents at my own house, 2 months before marriage. Still we got married and things kind of settled down a bit. There were many times my mother-in-law used to taunt me by saying your mother used to say this or your mother used to say that, implying that my mother doesn't know basics of how to give respect and so do I. From day 1 I felt being over judged in some ways or another. Both my mother-in-law and father-in-law are like thread and needle. So this implies to both of them. I tried sooooo hard to be respectful towards them and think of them as my own parents but because they are very critical of me and always admonished me in every little thing possible, I kind of drifted away from what I was doing for them. Basically I was just doing my duties towards them and that all. I have no love towards them but only respect that their position demands. I am always stressed and always scared and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Some day my in laws are very happy and very funny and other day they just keeps staring at me for no reason at all. Its been a year that I got married. I am always scared that about when my in-laws will again be questioning me or when they will be mad at me for doing or saying something. My husband tries sooo damn hard to keep sync between everyone. He is very busy with his job but everyday he tries to spend time with me and his family to keep everyone happy. He is not very empathetic but he tries his level best to understand what I am going through and that things are very unfair with me. If required he even speaks to his parents if things go over the head. But.. after all this.. I feel very uncomfortable, unloved, alone in my own home. Due to covid we are staying with my in laws. I have started feeling very dumb, i have started forgetting things. My weight is decreasing slowly. I am always tired. I cant concentrate on my job. I have no motivation in doing anything. I keep seeing sad movies to find a reason to cry and release every emotion that is built up in my heart. I feel like my analytical skills, communication skills, time management skills have suffered the most due to this continuous stress. I feel like I have become a little dumb in overall personality. I don't know how to explain this but I have.
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Wrong marriage
Family & Caregivers / by NightShadeMusk
Last post
 April 9th, 2021
...See more I think i have been married into a wrong household. These people are not bad but I just dont align with their expectations.
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