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Nikkox
1 79 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceMarch 22, 2026
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Epiphany
Depression Support / by Nikkox
Last post
 May 8th
...See more Almost 3 months crying all night because I was confused by the breakup with my ex-partner. I've been close to returning to alcoholism more than I was before. Then something hit me: They didn't communicate anything. Always telling me that communication is key, that "we are a team" and all that stuff. What team? They literally told me to take "some time" and I waited like a dog waiting for their owner. I had to ask them if by "time" they meant "break up", and they said yes. That's something I hate, and it made me even more confused. A week ago I woke up without feelings. Completely in a good mood. Then tuesday night, while I was trying to sleep, my brain started to organize everything and went to a new directive: from now on, I will only write to them if they or a family member are sick. Anything else is a no. They will have to text me first if they want. And I don't want to sound egotistical, but I understood some things I did wrong... but wasn't communication supposed to exist for that? I guess not. I can understand their TLP and other things. But in the end i was left as a wet dog. They were caring, lovely even made a lot of gifts for me. In exchange i gave them my all and my best But changing everything one day to another? I will stop trusting love from now on, cause their love fell genuine but ended up abruptly m
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I feel lost
Depression Support / by Nikkox
Last post
 April 5th
...See more Hello this is my first time posting here, kinda anxious to do it Keep in mind im straight not conservative I been going trough a rough time all my life and i been trying to stay focus with my goal all the time while everything falls appart Last year i meet a person, the most wonderful one i ever met. They teach me to be kind, to take care of even the smallest bug. They love me (i think they do) and we connected in ways we never thought it will be possible, every problem we had was fixed with dialogue But then one decision came through, they want to transition. I told them in this exact words "I can't ask you to stay they way you are, im not the one who decides your happiness...you are" With that we started to see less and less. At the point we barely text each other Even when there's still love we cannot continue for that. I wish i could have follow their path but feels like is over No more morning or night messages No more kisses, hugs or handholding It feels strange The last meet up we made i felt so empty and wanted to cry all the way home. And when i arrived i cried I tries alcohol (ik bad idea) to forget about it but make it worst. Mom is dying and family betrays me daily I dont know how to deal with this I miss them a lot but i dont want to hurt them anymore, i want them to be happy. But this feeling burns me everyday and night Every morning and night when i wake up i say "Good night sleep well" or " good morning hope you slept well" to myself with their name cause i know i will bring them bad feelings for doing that
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