Epiphany

Almost 3 months crying all night because I was confused by the breakup with my ex-partner. I've been close to returning to alcoholism more than I was before. Then something hit me:

They didn't communicate anything. Always telling me that communication is key, that "we are a team" and all that stuff.

What team? They literally told me to take "some time" and I waited like a dog waiting for their owner. I had to ask them if by "time" they meant "break up", and they said yes.

That's something I hate, and it made me even more confused.

A week ago I woke up without feelings. Completely in a good mood. Then tuesday night, while I was trying to sleep, my brain started to organize everything and went to a new directive: from now on, I will only write to them if they or a family member are sick. Anything else is a no. They will have to text me first if they want.

And I don't want to sound egotistical, but I understood some things I did wrong... but wasn't communication supposed to exist for that? I guess not.

I can understand their TLP and other things. But in the end i was left as a wet dog. They were caring, lovely even made a lot of gifts for me. In exchange i gave them my all and my best

But changing everything one day to another? I will stop trusting love from now on, cause their love fell genuine but ended up abruptly m