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Nmbsmith
1,324 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts38 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2020 Member sinceDecember 12, 2019
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Is this relationship anxiety?
Anxiety Support / by Nmbsmith
Last post
 January 18th, 2020
...See more So I have been officially dating my boyfriend for 3 months and we have been seeing each other for 5. Our relationship is great, everything is easy and natural and we get each other, we click really well, we have the same morals and everything and in general everything is just great. I suffer really badly with anxiety but not related to relationships until now, I think. Heres a back story on my anxiety: I was always anxious as a child, my parents thinking I possibly suffered from separation anxiety. As I grew older my anxiety manifested itself into different things. It gripped onto any fears I had and made them spiral out of control. My anxiety hit an all time high after my grandma died. I was 16/17 years old at this point and had lost so much weight and was in a really bad place. After a lot of hard work and a small bit of counselling, I managed to gain control over my anxiety. During my bad anxiety at this age, I started to doubt my own sexuality. I was out with friends when I suddenly thought I got this urge to kiss one of them. I instantly freaked out and tried to find logic for why I got that feeling. I obsessed over it, seeking reassurance, finding things a major trigger when it told me the feared outcome and was trying to make my own links, trying to make it all make sense. It was all I could think about all day every day and it was causing me so much distress. After a while this soon faded and I realised that it was all just my anxiety talking and now I look back and laugh because I know 100% Im not attracted to women at all and I freaked out over nothing. This story will become more important when I explain how I am feeling now. Fast forward a few years, my anxiety has come back and is worse than ever. It started after I attended a concert I had been looking forward to. I was part of a terrorist attack (Ariana Grande Manchester Arena Bombing) and although this didnt heighten my anxiety (which I am surprised over), it has triggered childhood fears and anxieties (separation anxiety). I was excited and anxious on the day of the concert but it all went fine and I felt great. 2 days later, I went back to work and had the worst panic attack ever due to lack of sleep and food. Since then my anxiety has been really bad and work has been the main cause of it. I have a lot of changes going on in my life and I do not cope well with change.
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