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PoeticSnowcone
1 158 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceOctober 13, 2022
Bio

The biggest way to know me is to follow me or simply talk to me. I’m a stay at home mom, dealing with a cool husband and four kids. I also work from home too, but sometimes I wish to have that connection with others to explore my options and understand who I am as a person.

Below, here are a few little things that makes me me:

Likes:

  • Going outside and taking long casual walks at a park/trail.
  • Anime
  • Writing / Blogging ✍🏾 
  • Digital Art
  • Meeting new people
  • Playing Mobile Legends: Bang Bang
  • Playing Arena of Valor

Dislikes:

  • Feeling alone
  • Being open with someone that cannot relate to me / what I’m going through
  • Spiders & Roaches
  • Excessive loud noises
  • Pineapples on pizza 🍕 
  • Being talked to like I’m stupid / slow
  • Math (unless it’s my paycheck)

Loves:

  • Receiving and giving attention to people with matching energy.
  • Sleep
  • Spicy food
  • Metal music (Slipknot, FFDP, KSE, Dethklok, Volbeat, Chimara are my main go to)
  • Chopped n Screwed Rap (Houston Rappers for sho’)
  • Horror movies
  • Cats
  • McDonalds French fries 🍟

If you want to know anything else, or feel like you want to talk, I am here.


Recent forum posts
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October 2022: Fetal Demise Confirmed & Delivered
Depression Support / by PoeticSnowcone
Last post
November 20th, 2022
...See more I know what some of you might be thinking, especially regarding fetal demise. Fetal demise is another medical word to express that your child has passed away in the womb. At less than 25 weeks, my husband and I lost our most recent son, Iann Ivory, because of fetal cystic hygromas. These fetal cystic hygromas are a genetic abnormality, thankfully not hereditary, and it is (currently) challenging to spot or prevent. I have read several medical articles explaining that these things can disappear over time, if spotted and treated quickly. I guess Mom and Dad was a little too late. Since the last week in September 2022, our son passed away, and we didn't know until October 14th, 2022. The doctor confirmed this, and I didn't know how to process all of this. However, I did accept that our kid fought his hardest and died trying to protect me and himself. Wait...our child died in September, and we didn't know until October?! My skin started to crawl. My mind shut down quickly. I've been walking around with a dead baby inside for me for a good grip... Now my depression is amplified, along with loneliness and hate. I'm mad at my husband for not empathizing with me, although he's possibly hurting too. I'm mad at myself because I can't save a life, my body's not good enough to protect someone that's harmless, and wanting to scream at everyone isn't the way to go. Deep down, I hate myself more than usual because I want my baby back so I can feel normal again. My husband says he understands where I am coming from. However, I've internalized so much, I'm not comfortable with talking to him about my thoughts anymore. I want a friend to open up to, someone that's soft and kind enough to help me process everything. ***, I'm scared to keep going because if I can't protect my child, what makes you think I can protect our four kids we have now?! This can really mess with a parent's mind, confirming a fetal demise and then delivering a baby by yourself when the hospital doesn't listen to your needs. My husband had to watch me birth our son by myself, no help except from a YouTube video... I'm living and coping heavily with depression, and I understand mine isn't the worst of the worst compared to many others. I don't know where to turn before I check out for good, a bullet through my teeth or something that's hard to bring me back. Being a stay-at-home mom and wife is terribly hard...idk if I can do it... I'm sorry for this unnecessary pity party. I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time... How I write is how I talk in person, so work with me slowly, if anyone is interested in wanting to help me process all of this...
PoeticSnowcone profile picture
Solemn Cry with Minimal Help
Depression Support / by PoeticSnowcone
Last post
October 13th, 2022
...See more Hello, I hope you are all doing well today/tonight. I am Poetic Snowcone, but you can also call me Quiet KittyPotato. During the day, I emerge myself with little things to keep my mind off of the depression and loneliness. These things also includes making engaging YT videos of my favorite mobile MOBA game (Mobile Legends) as support and tank roles, create eye catching digital art, and watching anime. I also game on my phone, which helps me cope with loneliness and depression. Lately, things grew very challenging at home. I am ignored more by my husband, and he’s having a challenging time with comprehending my loneliness and depression. I keep trying to show him I am worth something, but my insecurities also flows through my mind, causing me to stop and isolate myself. By then he’s not interested in being my friend or a somewhat caring person. He doesn’t go out of his way to make it worse, but he’s not my type of person I would openly say he’s my friend as well as a person I love. For now, I’m coping differently and looking for something or someone that understands where I am. I’m more of a softy with high EQ, so my sensitivity spikes if I’m ignored or find someone who gets me. Still, I do keep in mind people will always be too busy to drop everything and help you from time to time. That’s what my personal life taught me, but I’m also pushing myself through this to find the right friend or two that understands me.
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