PolyTri27 Member Profile

...See more Hi. I just came "out" 5 hours ago. I feel free but yet I got yelled at by the one person I told that im gay (lesbian) to. They completely got *** and dont accept it AT ALL!!!!! I'ts really tough because I live at home after getting newly divorced, to a man. It all came to a head and, at exactly 1:30am monday (yesterday) I had the AHA moment, that really, ive been uncomfortable in my own skin my ENTIRE life, just conforming to people/society that only accept me and my sexuality and for being with whomever Anyone wants me to be. (Straight). It really isnt fair because then I will now continue to keep hiding behind a "mask" so to speak. I feel partially ashamed and partially free/librrated. Well I did feel free up until milliseconds before coming "out". Only to get reprimanded" so to speak. So, what have I been doing for the past 5 hours? Quietly sitting in my bedroom, eating dinner, isolating, and feeling down, and ashamed. The biggest, most serious moment of my life, the closest family member, my mother..... and she got ***, and told me no... youre not allowed to feel this way about your sexuality and not allowed to date. C'mon im 51... feel like shes coddling me. I went from being coddled, to leaving the nest, being married for 4 yrs to Unfortunately married to a male narcissist!!!!, then coming back temporarily to home here with parents temporarily, then, being shamed for a gay/lesbian gene that maybe I have been all my entire life Like I disappointed her. Ugh......

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